Bottles

by Xanthe   Jul 16, 2012


Fingerprints kiss ivory,
composing keys only the eyes
can hear.

Liquid alabaster swirled within;
a sea of milk without
honey.

My hands ached to open them,
to release the ghost
of grandmother's memories.

07/14/12
*Written for a club challenge.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    How the hell did i miss this??? im gonna have to start getting you to pm me every time you write something so i dont miss again lololololol jk jk!!

    well i think everything to say has been said eh? other than i love it and love your writing always :-)

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Well, I have read Danny's and Mark's input and I'm afraid I shouldn't have because I feel I'll repeat what they'd said. I felt something different about the piece and had a different thought about it but I don't think I'm able to confess it anymore. Lol. It would feel stupid of me to.

    Told you before, whenever you write of your grandma, I can't help but think of you to be a little child with a stories book in your hands walking to her, haha, it's just so innocent.

    However, I'm here just to tell you that I loved the alabaster symbol here and that you are smart.
    And that I didn't quite understand the milk without honey bit. Booh.

    I bet the challenge was made by Andrea. Haha, she always has that creativemind. What can I say...brains.

    Well-done!

  • 5 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    Xanthe,
    From first read I loved this but to me there is a very eerie air to it. I dont feel its about a piano at all. he more i read I felt a definite darkness to this short piece.

    Fingerprints kiss ivory,

    ^^I think you are using "kiss" for a metaphor for pain. Ivory makes me think of skin. Fingerprints hurting (strangeling)skin....
    composing keys only the eyes
    can hear.

    ^^^pressing down, seeing because there is no sound coming out.. (I know..lol Its freaking me out.

    Liquid alabaster swirled within;
    a sea of milk without
    honey.

    ^^^liquid alabaster reminds me of the whites of the eyes...swirling, or rolling around in ones head.

    My hands ached to open them,
    to release the ghost
    of grandmother's memories

    To release the ghost= Ghosts symbolic with death. To release one someone would have to die

    Im probably way off or thinking to hard but there are so many ways to interpret this.

    Just enough to keep a person wonderin g what is really going on in this poem.

    Loved it
    Lostlove

  • 5 years ago

    by The Prince

    A nice, abstract poem about memory and love you've penned here.

    'Fingerprints kiss ivory,
    composing keys only the eyes
    can hear.'

    For starters, I really wasn't keen on 'kiss' because it's such a lazy verb. Did the fingers kiss the keys? It's soft, loving, and disquieting next to the eerie abstract imagery that follows. I loved how you used 'ivory' instead of 'piano' though, gives it a little more flavour.

    The second stanza is full of 'l' sounds. Really nice. You're referring to alabaster bottles, right? The image afterwards was to describe the alabaster, which is the focal point of this stanza. Alabaster was very expensive, and only ever used to keep important things in. It's a symbol of purity, and linked to the image of the 'grail', so there's a bit of religious imagery here, whether you intended it or not. It give the piece a different dimension though, so I'm glad you included it.

    'Bottles' seemed to be to be a metaphor, for bottling things up. Bottled memories. The image of your grandmother on the piano, and the alabaster container were quite potent side by side.

    Takes some patience, this piece. The significance of the two main images is ambiguous but it was a great write. Very good indeed.

  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    You did an excellent job with the challenge. Each stanza held a metaphor that I fell in love with, which made me adore this whole piece. :)