Exposed

Extremely subtle, sensual and an intelligent and creative piece... I loved the comparison of a rose to a woman and the concept itself is so fresh and crisp and a delight to read... I loved the imagery created by every line which unfolds a new picture with every word... wonderful... I was entirely hooked... !!

I see a red rose breathing,
whispering sweet nothings.
Crisp with droplets of crystal,
basking in the flickering light.

^^
You have used beautiful words to describe the rose and that indicates a good start...I could picture a fresh image at this moment... seems soothing...!

I see vivid stripes of white and blue
caressing her glistening lips
in the cool summer breeze
flying away to distant lands.

^^

just wonderful...

Surrounded by purity, she reveals herself
nude soaking up the radiant sun.
Taking in all the pure beauty,
she closes her eyes, and wanders off in a dream...

^^

very splendid and subtle and sensual to say...

Springing into life vibrantly,
fifty shades of red begin to bloom
with sweet splashes of fragrant droplets
...exposing her beauty...exposing the rose!

^^

Yes a vibrant verse to say... full of life. I loved every word of this piece and it is indeed worth a 5/5:)

I really enjoyed the descriptions and images. This poem is well written and had a fantastic word choice. The style was nice as was the voice shown. Excellent job.

I see a red rose breathing,
whispering sweet nothings.
Crisp with droplets of crystal,
basking in the flickering light.

- this creates such a beautiful image in my mind. I love the way you worded this as a rose breathing as I have never read this in a poem before.

I see vivid stripes of white and blue
caressing her glistening lips
in the cool summer breeze
flying away to distant lands.

- this stanza is beginning to sound like a beautiful fairytale. You have kept the imagery high and very strong here with your choice of descriptive words.

Surrounded by purity, she reveals herself
nude soaking up the radiant sun.
Taking in all the pure beauty,
she closes her eyes, and wanders off in a dream...

- I love this stanza! It sounds so peaceful and relazing and like there is no care or worries in the world. Only this moment exists. Such beauty and calm.

Springing into life vibrantly,
fifty shades of red begin to bloom
with sweet splashes of fragrant droplets
...exposing her beauty...exposing the rose.

- excellent way to end this. I loved how you described everything with such detail, step by step so that you could actually see quite clearly every image that you wrote. It flowed so well and was so easy to read not once but several times.

This was a pleasure to read, well done.

Very nice poetic tribute to the beauty of the 4th of July Rose, a rare one that is named after the red, white and blue (our national flag). The "50 shades of red...with white splashes" I presume symbolize the 50 stars on our national flag, each representing a State. Though this rose is called 4th of July, in honor of its resemblance to the flag, it does not have true blue colors, only shades of red with white splashes in most varieties.

This poem has a subtle sensual, soft tone like a love poem should be, and though the words seem to pay tribute to a lady love, I believe it is actually an adulation for this rare variety of rose, which you have personified into a lady love. Excellent nature write.

I took the liberty to reword 2 stanza's to enhance the beauty of your composition:

I see stripes of white and blue
vibrant colors on glistening lips
the cool summer breeze caressing
petals that blush with each wind

Surrounded by purity, she uncloaks
soaking up the radiant sun in her nude.
Taking in all the warmth, a rare beauty
eyes closed, I see her in a dream
as she sways, dancing to a lovers tune..

^Now, it appears more like a love poem. Just having some fun playing around with your creative words.

Lovely composition. Enjoyed reading it!

Joe,

There is something sweet and sensual about this piece that really captured me while reading it. Your use of words mixed in with the images made this into one gorgeous write!
I love how you have compared the delicacy of a rose and a woman. Maybe deep down you were in fact talking about one.

Awesome write! First one I've read from you but I plan to read more!

x