Comments : Exposed

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    Wow, I liked this poem and the descriptions that were given. I could picture that rose. My favorite part was when you mention the different types of reds that were blooming.

  • 5 years ago

    by Meme

    The vivid details you described are breathtaking.
    Its like a photographer gazing at this rose, finding every perfect angle to snap a shot for it. It flowed with great ease. And the repetition of I see gave the sense that you were looking at some point and saw something, then you looked again and saw ever more beauty.

    Nice to see you writing again Joe :-)

  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    I always tell everyone, I use to hate nature poems, but when I keep reading more and more talented people write nature pieces I am just overwhelmed by the imagery and by the wording. I fell in love with this poem from stanza #1 and my love kept growing the more and more stanzas I read.

    Your details are what makes this poem so enjoyable. Jealous of your write. :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Autuumnbree

    Nice poem, I like how you give the readers a vision by using details which improves your poem. One could view this just as it's a poem about nature or a piece about love.

    Great poem.

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Although the rose is overused in poety and the word choice is too safe (?) and common in nature poems like these, I think it worked.

    "flying away in to distant lands."
    I think the preposition is one word: into.
    Or you could remove 'in' :)

    The rose was personified as an audacious young woman in this piece, and you penned it really well with descriptive words that helped create a beautiful image in the readers' mind.

    "she closes her eyes, and wonders off in a
    dream..."
    A little typo on 'wanders'

    Overall, I love this piece; it's breathtaking and lovely. Keep writing!

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    To this day, the rose is the queen of all
    flowers and no matter what color she
    is beautiful

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    Great one, Joe:)

  • 5 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I absolutely loved that you personified the rose as a woman. You used wonderful words to help capture the imagery.

    Great write! :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Lioness

    Joe,

    There is something sweet and sensual about this piece that really captured me while reading it. Your use of words mixed in with the images made this into one gorgeous write!
    I love how you have compared the delicacy of a rose and a woman. Maybe deep down you were in fact talking about one.

    Awesome write! First one I've read from you but I plan to read more!

    x

  • 5 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    Very nice poetic tribute to the beauty of the 4th of July Rose, a rare one that is named after the red, white and blue (our national flag). The "50 shades of red...with white splashes" I presume symbolize the 50 stars on our national flag, each representing a State. Though this rose is called 4th of July, in honor of its resemblance to the flag, it does not have true blue colors, only shades of red with white splashes in most varieties.

    This poem has a subtle sensual, soft tone like a love poem should be, and though the words seem to pay tribute to a lady love, I believe it is actually an adulation for this rare variety of rose, which you have personified into a lady love. Excellent nature write.

    I took the liberty to reword 2 stanza's to enhance the beauty of your composition:

    I see stripes of white and blue
    vibrant colors on glistening lips
    the cool summer breeze caressing
    petals that blush with each wind

    Surrounded by purity, she uncloaks
    soaking up the radiant sun in her nude.
    Taking in all the warmth, a rare beauty
    eyes closed, I see her in a dream
    as she sways, dancing to a lovers tune..

    ^Now, it appears more like a love poem. Just having some fun playing around with your creative words.

    Lovely composition. Enjoyed reading it!

  • 5 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I see a red rose breathing,
    whispering sweet nothings.
    Crisp with droplets of crystal,
    basking in the flickering light.

    - this creates such a beautiful image in my mind. I love the way you worded this as a rose breathing as I have never read this in a poem before.

    I see vivid stripes of white and blue
    caressing her glistening lips
    in the cool summer breeze
    flying away to distant lands.

    - this stanza is beginning to sound like a beautiful fairytale. You have kept the imagery high and very strong here with your choice of descriptive words.

    Surrounded by purity, she reveals herself
    nude soaking up the radiant sun.
    Taking in all the pure beauty,
    she closes her eyes, and wanders off in a dream...

    - I love this stanza! It sounds so peaceful and relazing and like there is no care or worries in the world. Only this moment exists. Such beauty and calm.

    Springing into life vibrantly,
    fifty shades of red begin to bloom
    with sweet splashes of fragrant droplets
    ...exposing her beauty...exposing the rose.

    - excellent way to end this. I loved how you described everything with such detail, step by step so that you could actually see quite clearly every image that you wrote. It flowed so well and was so easy to read not once but several times.

    This was a pleasure to read, well done.

  • 5 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I really enjoyed the descriptions and images. This poem is well written and had a fantastic word choice. The style was nice as was the voice shown. Excellent job.

  • 5 years ago

    by Amreen

    Extremely subtle, sensual and an intelligent and creative piece... I loved the comparison of a rose to a woman and the concept itself is so fresh and crisp and a delight to read... I loved the imagery created by every line which unfolds a new picture with every word... wonderful... I was entirely hooked... !!

    I see a red rose breathing,
    whispering sweet nothings.
    Crisp with droplets of crystal,
    basking in the flickering light.

    ^^
    You have used beautiful words to describe the rose and that indicates a good start...I could picture a fresh image at this moment... seems soothing...!

    I see vivid stripes of white and blue
    caressing her glistening lips
    in the cool summer breeze
    flying away to distant lands.

    ^^

    just wonderful...

    Surrounded by purity, she reveals herself
    nude soaking up the radiant sun.
    Taking in all the pure beauty,
    she closes her eyes, and wanders off in a dream...

    ^^

    very splendid and subtle and sensual to say...

    Springing into life vibrantly,
    fifty shades of red begin to bloom
    with sweet splashes of fragrant droplets
    ...exposing her beauty...exposing the rose!

    ^^

    Yes a vibrant verse to say... full of life. I loved every word of this piece and it is indeed worth a 5/5:)