Comments : Snowflake on a Ledge

  • 5 years ago

    by Khalid

    A poem of so sorrowful real story which came in time. You're are an inspired person who translated real actions into a poem for memories. Brilliant lay out lol. I enjoyed it to the maximum extent.

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    This is a beautiful piece, though it is sad. It's a great dedication. I wish I had more votes left :(

    When I read this first in the club, I loved it so much, and re-reading it doesn't take away its luster. I thought the use of the snowflakes was really creative and lovely. It symbolizes things the person could have been if he didn't do it.

    Beautiful piece. Keep writing!

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Double posted. Sorry, this was just too beautiful :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I did like this one, I thought it was so devasting and heart wrenching but at the same time it was so thoughtful that you chose to write about this and dedicate a memory of him to people who never knew him. You create empathy for him with this poem because how often have we all felt the weight of the world on our shoulders? It just goes to show that you never really know what someone else is dealing with.

    Well done Liz.

  • 5 years ago

    by Meme

    Although what happened is really sad indeed, but this is a great dedication to this man. Not an exception to the quality of pieces you deilever, always perfectly penned Liz.

    Awaiting for your next poems ..

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    If only the weight was
    lifted off your shoulders
    before you jumped off
    that ledge, you would have
    felt as light as a snowflake,

    --- I thought the way, you started was perfect. It sets the image and the reader immediately pictures someone trying to jump from a high distance. By saying the weight was lifted off your shoulders, I thought you meant that the pressure/stress could be gone...

    on a second note : I would love to feel as light as a snowflake and perhaps who knows, the wind could help me fulfill one of my dreams which is to fly... though, I would love to have control of my moves and not just be moved like a rag.. that's something that jumped to my thoughts when I pictured someone as light as a snowflake.

    perhaps the fall wouldn't
    have been so daunting.

    --- with this, I'm thinking that perhaps the fall wouldn't have hurt so much... or perhaps, that someone wouldn't have get injured.

    Perhaps then you wouldn't
    have jumped at all.

    and true, perhaps, that someone jumped off due to the stress. So many commit suicide because of stress. It's tough to deal with it.. and if they didn't have any then they wouldn't have jumped.

    I often wonder what
    goes on inside the mind
    of someone contemplating
    on taking their own life,
    all I see is the aftermath
    of blood stained sheets
    that cover your lifeless
    body and protects you
    from view.

    ---- I often wonder the same, what goes inside the mind of someone contemplating suicide? I guess they can't find any solution to their problems.. the stress is too much and it doesn't allow someone to think clearly before taking one more step off a ledge.

    I like how you were able to paint the image of the stained sheets with blood with your words.

    Even after the streets are
    cleaned and your remains
    are gathered for your farewell,
    you will always endure
    in the hearts of those who loved
    you most, and those who
    witnessed your demise.

    -- That is true, no one will be able to forget. Neither the love ones because they are their loves one thus they will always remember him/her, and the ones who saw the incident could get traumatized from seeing what happened.

    I know that you will remain in
    mine.

    If only you were as
    light as a snowflake,
    perhaps then you wouldn't
    have jumped at all.

    -- this sad and heartbreaking as well, I know you will remember the incident, but I do hope that you are not traumatized by it.

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    What loving dedication to someone
    unknown. The mind is a tricky thing.
    People become overwhelmed and can't deal
    with life anymore. The often cry out for help
    but nobody seem to understand. It is very
    sad. If only we take some time and listen
    some of the suicides perhaps could have been prevented.

  • 5 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I can't comment right now, but :O
    I will come back to it...
    x

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    Suicide is our last cry when nobody is hearing us.I feel for him. Great tribute my friend.

  • 5 years ago

    by Wild flower

    Aaaaaaah thats so sad:( I hate these things..

    But this poem is perfectly written, great job..

  • 5 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Liz, I am sorry that I didn't comment properly when you posted this, I was sort of in shock and the content was to my heart as you know...

    But I am back and I can telly uo now, this was one of the most selfless, amazing poems I have ever read, to write for this person you have never met shows that you are a true angel and your heart is so open for everyone...

    it is such a sad thing to write about and to have happen so close to you but you wrote amazing poetry off of that and for just that, you are awesome

    x

  • 5 years ago

    by Darren

    It couldn't have been easy to witness this and writing a poem will help. I like how you show great compassion for somebody you didn't know yet took the time to step back and appreciate the hurt some people will feel from this.
    A snowflake is such an innocent image and works well with this. You haven't judged him in any way, you have tried to understand his plight.
    Very clever ending, ties the whole thing together.
    regards

  • 5 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    What a tragic thing.. to be so desperate to end it all. I know the feeling and it's one of isolation. Excellent write about complete sadness.
    TJ

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    I missed your writes. Where are you?

  • 5 years ago

    by Ruby Red Memories

    Liz, this poem really moved me and spoke to my heart. I think you did well covering this topic and I liked your title as I thought it was well picked.

    Beautiful piece yet sad too

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Amy

    Such tragedy you penned so well.. Beautiful tribute.