Cimmerian

by Xanthe   Jul 30, 2012


You caught me
praying underground-
icicles dangling at the
tip of my tongue,
waiting to be broken.
You smiled at me still,
coaxing me to come
back.

But like a stubborn
child, I sat there-
arms crossed over
my breasts, believing
for a moment that I
could protect myself.

Adamance crawled
like a worm,
burrowing itself
deeper within
my brain. But
tonight I thank
the stars, for
my heart was left
alone, still beating
this time.

All Winter, I
dropped seeds
on the ground,
not knowing
I'd be left with
weeds by midnight.

And you found
snowflakes breathing
inside my throat to-
night-
my voice became
an antithesis of a
mockingbird's song.
Only then did I
realise the real
significance of
mocking.

The night begins again;
I find myself growing
dimmer in my Cimmerian
homeland.

My weeds began
building their nests
within my mouth and
all I taste is the
death of our Fall.

I look up.

With barely a sound,
I uttered my last
pray'r.

I couldn't see.

But I knew, through
my land's darkness,
I still had a home.

Snowflakes are
falling.

At long last.

07/23/12
*Written for a club contest.

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Axelle

    Hi!!!! I'm back :P Sorry, just had to say that :D I don't know why...

    This was written for Chelsey's contest, right? The topic was snowflakes :] I sucked at that one, I must say. I think I wrote mine in about an hour :x hehe...shh don't tell anyone that ;)

    'You caught me
    praying underground-
    icicles dangling at the
    tip of my tongue,
    waiting to be broken.
    You smiled at me still,
    coaxing me to come
    back.'

    ^ I think that this is a very beautiful stanza, and a very deep one - this is probably the strongest part for me. I love this because of the imagery, and because of the metaphors behind it. 'Praying underground' is quite interesting...maybe you were praying within yourself, and you didn't want anyone to hear? Is that what the icicles symbolize? Your tongue being frozen means that you wouldn't speak? Hmmm...makes me think.

    But like a stubborn
    child, I sat there-
    arms crossed over
    my breasts, believing
    for a moment that I
    could protect myself.

    ^ I had to smile at this, because I have done it multiple times, and others as well :) Another beautiful and charming image. I wonder why the persona was trying to protect herself here...maybe it is from a friend? Or a family member? I want to go with family member here, because those are the people who often hurt us the most.

    Adamance crawled
    like a worm,
    burrowing itself
    deeper within
    my brain. But
    tonight I thank
    the stars, for
    my heart was left
    alone, still beating
    this time.

    ^ Adamant: refusing to be persuaded, like stubborn? So the persona was basically set in their way of something. Something that would hurt them if it went the wrong way, but thankfully nothing happened so they were fine.

    All Winter, I
    dropped seeds
    on the ground,
    not knowing
    I'd be left with
    weeds by midnight.

    ^ What are the seeds? Maybe acts of kindness? Maybe love? Maybe something that was never returned?

    And you found
    snowflakes breathing
    inside my throat to-
    night-

    ^ Just have to say wow at this part. I can only imagine what this means...

    I find myself growing
    dimmer in my Cimmerian
    homeland.

    ^ I looked up the word 'Cimmerian' and it said something about ancient nomadic people living in the 7th century B.C. I don't know if this is what you meant by that, but I doubt it. Maybe you meant that your homeland was historic? I learned another word :]

    My weeds began
    building their nests
    within my mouth and
    all I taste is the
    death of our Fall.

    ^ Okay, maybe the seeds were not acts of kindness or anything like that :x Hmmm...maybe words? Perhaps you said something and that caused you to quit talking? The two of you fell apart, or that is what I imagine when I read the line 'the death of our Fall.' Why is 'Fall' capitalized? This must be significant to you somehow...

    I really don't understand what is going on here in this poem, but I would really like to. This makes my heartache for some reason, Xanthe. Like I said in my last comment, your poems always has a tinge of sadness to them that makes me think that you have been through a lot more than what you let others know. I would like to see what goes on in that intelligent brain of yours someday :] I am sorry that this is a scrambled comment...I was trying to figure out what it was about as I read it.

    Excellent as always
    5/5

    ~S

  • 5 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    You always have the best titles for your poems. They always draw me in.

    I don't really have much to say... I'm not nearly as talented in breaking down poems like you do, lol. I just am stunned after I read every poem of yours... just amazing. Soooo jealous of your talent! haha

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    I'll be back tomorrow, I agree this one needs to be on the front page.

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    Amazing!

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    You go girl, your poems rock.
    this one here needs to be on the front page