A Miner's Struggle

by Hannah Lizette   Aug 16, 2012


Coal dusted face,
hardened eyes
with wrinkled worries,

his baby girl stumbles
in his dirty mining boots,
swallowing his pride
and wiping his tears,
he has a genuine smile
for the first time in weeks.

Copyright 2012: Hannah K.

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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Masked metaphor

    Coal dusted face,
    hardened eyes
    with wrinkled worries,
    ^^
    I love the way you have orientated this poem with such vivid descriptions allowing the reader to clearly materialise the character out of your words such a beautiful crafted technique you have used!

    his baby girl stumbles
    in his dirty mining boots,
    swallowing his pride
    and wiping his tears,
    he has a genuine smile
    for the first time in weeks.
    ^^
    Wow such a beautiful portrait this poem has shaped into such a lovely way to display and depict a relationship between a father, his daughter and his job!

    I liked the descriptions of not only appearance but emotions as well has made this poem amazing and a nice read!

    5.5 from me

  • 5 years ago

    by Whiskurz

    My Grandfather was a coal miner in West Virginia.....I enjoyed this......Whisk

  • 5 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow, what a lovely, moving, sad and yet touching poem! I can clearly the picture the scene and the bond of father and daughter, you have used miners in this write but it made me think of all the soldiers and other fathers out there who's jobs make them distant from their family.

    Really loved this one and it leaves you with a lot of feelings of happiness and sadness but yet just thankful that in this poem he gets this moment with his child. Lovely. x

  • 5 years ago

    by Khalid

    I loved the story in total. It gave me an impression about the strong relation between a father and his baby girl, so sweet.
    Some adjustment, I think has to be made:

    Coal dusted face,
    hardened eyes
    with wrinkled worries,

    his baby girl stumbles
    Just start with a capital letter

    in his dirty mining boots,
    swallowing his pride
    and wiping his tears,

    I think there should be a full-stop instead of a comma

    he has a genuine smile
    Again the capital letter

    for the first time in weeks.

    Finally the poem should be like that:

    Coal dusted face,
    hardened eyes
    with wrinkled worries,

    His baby girl stumbles
    in his dirty mining boots,
    swallowing his pride
    and wiping his tears.
    He has a genuine smile
    for the first time in weeks.

    I enjoyed reading the story.

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    I absolutely adore this write Hannah
    You know I am into short poetry