Comments : The forgotten story...

  • 5 years ago

    by colin

    Beautiful poem my emotions ran wild i love this poem.

  • 5 years ago

    by average thoughts

    This poem can touch anyone heart..

    My ambience got filled
    with its faint fragrance.

    he was the first petal of affection
    in my garden of life.

    and specialy this last stanza..

    And his remembrance for me
    is like the gentle scent of the soil,
    which exudes a splash of thoughts
    when,
    the rain of my love falls on it...

    Loved it..

  • 5 years ago

    by Khalid

    Today when I opened
    the book of my memories,
    I encountered a dried rose
    drenched with the aroma
    of a blissful history...

    My ambience got filled
    with its faint fragrance,
    making me sense,
    just like how a young blossom
    is kissed with grace...

    The last two lines will sound better if changed to read as

    just like a young blossom
    when kissed with grace ...

    I remember the day I saw him,
    my senses convinced me
    that he does possess the radiance,
    to shimmer my life,
    with the touch of glee...

    Nice stanza I liked it

    I didnt owned the courage ever,
    to say to him that
    his love for me is like
    the moon in the night,
    giving meaning to my soul...

    The first line should read either as 'I didnt own...' or 'I haven't owned...'

    I was always shy to say that,
    my love for him is true,
    that he is the twinkle of my eye,
    that he is my beloved,
    that.... I really love him...

    This stanza should be little arranged to read as

    I was always shy to say
    that my love for him is true,
    that he is the twinkle of my eye,
    that he is my beloved,
    that.... I really love him...

    Still... I am happy today,
    despite he isn't mine,
    as he was the first petal of affection
    in my garden of life,
    defining the beauty of love to me...

    And his remembrance for me
    is like the gentle scent of the soil,
    which exudes a splash of thoughts
    when,
    the rain of my love falls on it...

    The comma should come after 'thoughts' not after 'when'

    This aside, I enjoyed reading the great piece

  • 5 years ago

    by Darren

    Another one with strong imagery, a great message of love and great emotion.

    The flow in this was really good and the analogies strong.

    nice write.

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    I loved the images and the message. Stunning piece.

  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Amreen I loved the thoughts and emotions you put into this poem. . I loved the way your thoughts were arranged.

    his love for me is like the moon in the night, giving meaning to my soul...

    ^ just beautifully penned.

    I love the regret in the beginning and in the end there is hope. Its hard to incorporate the two in a love poem, usually you're just happy, or sad with your love. . Very interesting. I enjoyed reading!

  • 5 years ago

    by Stephen

    5/5 from me. This is so beautiful! My Lord you have such a truly lovely piece right here. I enjoyed reading it and I'm sure I'll read it again time after time in the future.

    You start this poem off so perfectly, "Today when I opened the book of my memories I encountered a dried rose drenched with the aroma of a blissful history." This stanza speaks volumes on what's to come.. As if you stepped into a time machine and went straight back to the moment's you're writing of.

    "Still... I am happy today,
    despite he isn't mine,
    as he was the first petal of affection
    in my garden of life,
    defining the beauty of love to me..."

    This stanza is so touching to me. It sends such a strong message! Although you didn't get to have him, he isn't yours, but you're still completely happy with knowing he was the very first love for you. He brought love in all it's wonders into your heart for the first time!! Always to be remembered, beautiful beautiful beautiful.. I love this poem, great job...Keep up the amazing work! :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    Beautiful poem Amreen

    How that dead old dried out rose brought such memories back to life of days one by, and one whose memory will never leave your mind. Hands down my fav stanzas are the 2 final ones

    Still... I am happy today,
    despite he isn't mine,
    as he was the first petal of affection
    in my garden of life,
    defining the beauty of love to me...

    And his remembrance for me
    is like the gentle scent of the soil,
    which exudes a splash of thoughts,
    when
    the rain of my love falls on it...

    I loved the way you conveyed your love as a petal of a flower, in your garden of life. This was a very creative poem well worth the read :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Dominique Lewis

    It is amazing. 5/5 :) I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work.

  • 5 years ago

    by Mr Rush

    I particularly enjoyed the opening of this, it was more subtle and showed the reader, rather than told them, of the narrator's feelings. The sense of smell is often overlooked in poetry, and you made great use of it in the earlier stanzas here. I think the fourth and fifth stanzas were weaker than the others, but the ending picked up again and redeemed things.

  • 5 years ago

    by Lofallenve

    Such a beautiful poem with strong emotions.

    Today when I opened
    the book of my memories,
    I encountered a dried rose
    drenched with the aroma
    of a blissful history...

    That had to be my favorite stanza:)

  • 5 years ago

    by NobodyKnowsItButMe

    "Today when I opened

    the book of my memories,

    I encountered a dried rose

    drenched with the aroma

    of a blissful history..." this very opening line caught my attention...
    This very line is an inspiration for me to write a poem!!! Know why? Because it reminds me of my Love, when she gave me a rose and... I was almost forgetting that I've put the rose inside my diary!!!
    Thank you!!!
    I like the poem, not only because of the inspiration, of which I've stated above, but also because the language is simple and swift flow of the lines...
    Good piece of poetry!
    4/5

  • 5 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This is a very nice piece. I quite enjoy how it's about a woman who, despite not having the man she loves, can still find something to be happy about; the fact that she knows she loves him. This piece tells me that this woman is strong enough to not need a man to be happy, which I really like.

    You have written a beautiful piece of poetry here.

    5/5

    'Briana

  • 5 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    I loved this poem Amreen...everything is so beautifully described!
    this poem is so very relatable.. though its a bit sad one.
    5/5
    ^_^

  • 5 years ago

    by Adelle

    This talks of raw emotions and yet it is written so delicatly. Often we don't like to own painful emotions. You not only own these emotions in this poem but you make them something possitive something beautiful.

    Still... I am happy today,
    despite he isn't mine,
    as he was the first petal of affection
    in my garden of life,
    defining the beauty of love to me...

    This is my favorite stanza although I enjoyed the whole poem:) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Rawan B

    Just a sweet meaningfull poem
    full of life
    ide rate u with 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Marvellous

    Every Beginning, shades a truth. When it's over, result is called.

  • 5 years ago

    by Alanis

    You really are a remarkable writer with much to offer^^
    This poem was outstanding with emotion so deep we had to dig to find it. Keep writing

  • 5 years ago

    by TSI25

    Ending two stanzas were profoundly powerful. always good to end strong. in a couple places the flow tripped me up a little, "say to him that" for instance made me stop and think about whether it was an error before reading the next line and realizing that it wasnt, but that might just be my reading/writing style coming out in conflict with yours

    over all this is an amazing poem.

  • 5 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    Real powerful, very sweet and explains love at it's finest.
    Truly magical, I can relate in areas with love and someone showing you exactly what no other person as ever been able to show you, opening your heart to a whole new world. I'm experience it now actually and it is a journey, taking the bad with the good because love is truly worth it.

    You were really able to explain the feelings within you so simply yet in a way that is deep and full of strong loving, passionate emotion. I really enjoyed this write, beautifully done. Keep it up.