I love how the opening is so soft and calming, a person has such a promising goodnight, a promise there will be always be a new day waiting. Beautiful piece, the aquatic eyes was gorgeous, I don't think I've heard that before. I think the brevity works perfectly here, it's such a gentle poem. That inspiration is constantly there, especially in the end, how everlasting this love feels like it will be :)

This is so gentle like the breeze of a spring morning! =)
However, did you mean to repeat the "I" in the 6th line? I find the piece fine without it I guess? Not sure.

I couldn't not fall for the simplicity in this poem with its soft yet strong emotions.
Beautiful.
Write on~

Great poem

Temps,

I like this. It's good to see you writing something that is natural. I know you've been struggling over the past few months to write something that just flows from you but I think you've found that nice little edge. I've been telling everyone I'm fascinated with short poetry lately and this is a poem that represents the reasons why.

The only thing that I don't really understanding is the beginning (beautiful description) but you describe the city streets as pastel (lovely) but you then you describe the city streets as sequins. Perhaps I'm misreading it but I feel as though you've just described it in two different ways. I see pastel city streets one minute and then sequin city streets the next.

I like the term aquatic eyes, quite beautiful but it also leaves the impression that you're saying that the person has more beneath the surface than just a pretty face. Aquatic reminds me of the ocean and of course the whole idea of everything beneath it.

Nice to see something short and to the point from you
-Mel

Wow the descriptions truly blow me away temps!
I love the creativity behind the words painting a portrait of a vibrant sunrise and sequin city lights so clear and one I can link to. Your words though simple compress such a deep meaning, descriptions so visually alluring like presenting a photograph and the reader interpreting it! Amazing write temps, kept me interested from start to finish, truly illuminating!
5.5 from me

I really like the format of this piece. It is aesthetically pleasing :) There was a dreamy aura throughout and I loved that!

"new sunrise, while I too,
each day I surrender"
^I was confused here. It was choppy and I'm not sure if you intentionally had it this way or was there some kind of typo. I don't know.

Great piece overall :)

I love this, you said it all with only a few words, something a lot of people wish they could.
"each day I surrender
to your aquatic eyes"
^ And this is where I fell in love with this piece. Gorgeous, I love the image I got once I finished reading it, it just came together in my mind.
Keep writing :)

"You hush pastel
city streets of sequins
with a kiss goodnight"

That pulled me in quickly. Really nice, It's such a smooth piece of work you did it with such ease. so cool
5/5