Angelica

Never before have I seen such beauty, such grace
Upon my angel I gaze with discerning eyes
She flies gently above me but I cannot make out her face
Is my angel's beauty real?
Is it truth?
Is it lies?
^^
**"Is it lies"... I believe that's improper English? The proper way of saying it, "Are they lies?" or "Is it a lie?" since lies is plural and "it"

denotes one individual lie; however, in a poem, you can take whatever liberties you like. I suggest if you don't have a significant purpose for this

being there, to alter it-- as it was a tad distracting.**

She moves intensely yet calmly, making me feel whole
A shining aura that tames even my heart
It surrounds me with feelings that cleanse my soul
Nevermore lost to this void
This prison
This dark
^^
**I feel as if with some punctuation in this verse, it could bring it to a whole 'nother level. Make it a bit more striking, more edgy. I see you

selectively use comma's later on in the poem, and once in this verse, but some periods can go a long way to helping the reader know where the pauses,

breaks, and continuations are.**

A shriek of laughter and her face becomes clear
Fooled by a demon so evil, revealing my fears
Distorted and torn, I'm already under her spell
Her aura turns black as I'm dragged back to hell
^^
**The first thing I thought when I read this last line is that it would sound better if it said "into hell".**

The angel no more now resides within me <--- I do have to say, this line is strikingly beautiful.
Captive to the darkness, never to be free
I hear cackles and mumbles inside my head
My body is hers to control instead
^^
**I suggest saying "A captive to darkness" as it flows better; or you could possibly capitalize the "D" in darkness to insinuate it is a being, give

that air of mystery surrounding Darkness. Also, I understand the purpose of the rhyme with "head" and "instead"... but that last line is so powerful, I

feel as if it would benefit the reader not to rhyme at all. Just saying "My body is hers to control." Possibly alter the verse to leave that as the last

line, because it is provocatively curious. It really feels as if "instead" takes away from the line.**

Trapped in my mind, I wander aimlessly then stir
Lost in the darkness I discover a flicker of light
I follow its warmth as it guides me closer towards her
Regaining my World
My Angel
My Life

^^
**"Closer towards her" is a bit of a double positive. If you're going toward something, it is clear you're getting closer to it. I suggest, to help with

the flow, you remove the word "closer" or change "towards" into "to".**

It is, however, your poem. These are merely suggestions on what I would do to make it better. I found it very difficult to read through without

searching line by line for some sort of rhythm, that by the end I found the poem didn't have. It possibly could detract from the experience of the poem.

It is a beautiful one, though, with this seemingly internal struggle with death and its meaning.

5/5
Much love,
IdTakeABulletForYou
(Stephen)

First of all, I loved the title of the poem! Anyone who reads the title will be curious of what angelical is doing in t a dark poem! And that's a good start, a good cover. I love how you were able to add a little twist in your work, building up the imagination. The flow and rhyming was very good, which made it fun to read. At one poem in your poem, it was like you were able to creative a mysterious view in the character(s) . keep it up! You got potential .

This poem reminds me of a siren... luring a man in with her beauty, making him fall in love and then as soon as she has him...she turns and drags him into the depths of hell. Very nice touch you have here.

I love the title, at first reading it I thought it would be a dedication to a lover... but I like the angel and "Angelica" reference here.

I really was drawn to this name, and I like how her name was your title....it was not an ordinary name, almost struck me as something from the 1800's or something. It's elegant in it's own way and even has a beautiful air to it when it's pronounced. Wonderful tie in with being "angelic". I now see how this was turned into deceit.....this woman you have found seems like an angel when it was actually a twisted tale. I like your descriptions of your surroundings, as well as your rhyming, I almost felt it was subtle, though it was at the end of the stanza's, it wasn't so strict and you had good flow. The ending perplexed me which is not a bad thing, your poem had the element of mystery. Maybe she both hurt and saved you? Dragging you down then back up again in a love that is drawing you but definitely not a normal healthy kind. I too like your style, it makes this poem stand out more instead of just average stanzas we all expect. Your thoughts stand out more personally with the "this prison", "this dark".

Vey nice free flow and imagery that captured my attention and held it to the end