Comments : Bird on Boots

  • 6 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Oh Nana, how you make me fall in love with repitition in your piece amazes me! Which I usually hate, but I adored the repeating of "Chant" Amazing word in the way you were wording it

    Freaking loveeee your repeated stanza oh my gosh what a profound statement that is...

    So much beauty is found in sad poetry, perhaps not the tone, or the feelings behind it, but the words are simply beautiful there is no other way to describe it.

    You stand on it the
    firm way mountains do,
    mesmerizing me that
    I keep an eye on you...

    ^ Can I have permission to steal that, if I give you credit? LMAO I just completely melted at this stanza, what an incredible analogy to how one is standing, firm like mountains that fix your eyes on them...

    omg <3

  • 6 years ago

    by Decayed

    This poem made me feel exactly as this song::

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaqUHdIsjDY

    ^ HEAR this. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT, I SWEAR. Please hear it ;)

    Awesome poem, Nana.. IT felt so lyrical... and the repetition of that stanza makes it perfectly a chorus of a song. I wanna hear Meme singing it ;)

    Did I tell you... listen to that song? :P

    hehe...

    This piece is like a lullaby... so melodic and flowing perfectly. Well-done

  • 6 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Fluck, fluck, fluck. This is the best poem I have read in a month or so. AND I'VE READ SO MUCH OKAY? Omggg...just wonderful.

    Let me wake up, then let me die... Wow. WHAT ARE YA!?

    Nominated. Yes, yes, shush. Nawwwminaaayted

  • 6 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    And I will also be right back.

  • 6 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    And I will also be right back.

  • 6 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    :O I can't speak, this is something else!
    That emotion, despair and sadness. I feel it.

    I couldn't think when I first read this, I don't really know if I am thinking straight now but I'll try and comment

    the sky on your forehead,
    that I've carved with my lips.

    ^^This part I only need to say that it is so you, such great imagery and just WOW

    And if I wake up,
    and if I die.
    Let me wake up,
    then let me die

    ^^OMG Now that is emotion, that is just soo deep and powerful and the fact that you repeated it, shows that this piece is deep and meaningful to you.

    Make it outstanding, make it deep.
    that I turn ashen, gray; off white,
    like I'm dead, like I do not deserve to sleep.

    ^^^It is this part that I could really relate to, not just the emotion and the pain but the whole thing, it sort of makes me see myself in a reflection...

    Nana, I am not really making much sense, forgive me but I must just say that you write beautifully, and I always feel something reading your pieces

    It really inhibits itself in my soul, that is talent

    x

  • 6 years ago

    by Lioness

    I seriously have missed your poems beautiful lady.

    I've missed a lot of people's writes!!! It is so good to read yours again, especially one this awesome.

    The poem is sooooooooo beautifully poetic. The repetition and sad tone, awesome. I love the subtle rhyming in the poem, it just gave it that extra oompfh!!!

    The title is quite unique and interesting. Bird on boots. It makes me think of birds flying so the boots would not be something that is needed, but maybe in this case, the bird has lost its wings, so maybe it had to find another way to get around. An awesome poem!!!

    x

  • 6 years ago

    by One Man Clan

    What's too easy to catch while reading this poem is the severity of your pain! The real clarity or such disdain
    It's too visisble and it's out there with every word you mention
    It's funny how in this life our hearts sometimes can't differentiate between what is going to harm it or give it comfort
    And in this case the heart will always want what it wants
    You willingly go after someone who in your eyes know that for whatever reasons
    It won't work out
    Yet you write about it with a clarity that I truly do envy you for
    You're one of a kind when you pick up a pen
    I hope you know that

  • 6 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Such a unique title, I did wonder what would be in store. This is really amazing, I love how quick the flow is and how short the lines are, it makes me read on fast and then want to read it again and again. It is brilliant. The repetition works very well also, amazing job. x

  • Chant for the roads
    that got me here,
    for the long shores
    I've painted before you..

    ^^
    A beautiful opening stanza.
    Here I feel a last vestige of hope, but mainly despair... like you no longer believe in such hope.
    I love the imagery here also - simple descriptions can sometimes have the most impact. (:

    the sky on your forehead,
    that I've carved with my lips.

    ^^
    I almost feel like this is about a baby you have lost: miscarriaged .. ??
    That's the image that comes to mind for me. It is quite a unique arrangement of words, and again, that sorrow really leaks through your words.

    And if I wake up,
    and if I die.
    Let me wake up,
    then let me die

    ^^
    When I first read this I thought that this was kind of beautiful but reading it again it could also come across as quite horrible. Let me explain!: My first impression was that you don't want to see the beauty of the world just one last time before you die and that's why you wish to wake up. My second impression was however, that you want to wake up for punishment - like to see the world that last time would be a curse rather than a blessing because you will know what you will miss .. ??
    Both interpretations bring such sorrow to my heart.

    humbly beneath
    the boots that you
    drew with green
    sugar reflections
    right-outside my window.

    ^^
    I'm thinking "boots" is a metaphor, but I will take the simplistic view here and interpret it as the boots leaving imprints upon the grass outside your window.
    By the way, I don't think you need a hyphen between 'right' and 'outside' in the last line.

    You stand on it the
    firm way mountains do,
    mesmerizing me that
    I keep an eye on you...
    with my heart wide opened.

    ^^
    Again two interpretations here: one filled with such sadness - something like you have been rejected because you had your 'heart wide open', and your heart got broken. The other interpretation is that hope that I felt in the first verse, because you may have found your last thing of happiness... and only time will tell.

    Chant for the ropes
    that tie me
    to the softest hums
    of your voice.
    Chant that I'm helpless,
    that I have no choice.

    ^^
    I really loved this: I'm going to take the sorrowful interpretation here, and say that you are tied to this person wholly, that it's difficult for you to let go of them, even though they have hurt you and walked away... ??

    And if I wake up,
    and if I die.
    Let me wake up,
    then let me die.

    ^^
    Great repetition here, Nana!! (:
    Again, I feel that sense of punishment almost and also like you don't deserve this beautiful no more, that you should be taunted by it or that you ARE taunted by it, perhaps .. ??

    Chant, all the way
    through the night,
    loudly, softly
    till the yellow light
    swallows the dark blue.

    ^^
    Absolutely beautiful imagery here!
    With this verse, I really felt like I was in this world you have created with your words.

    Make it outstanding, make it deep.
    that I turn ashen, gray; off white,
    like I'm dead, like I do not deserve to sleep.

    ^^
    A great ending ... but now I get the impression this was a nightmare - a real life one perhaps, but still something that haunts you in your sleep also .. ??
    _______________________________
    OVERALL;

    An absolutely outstanding poem here, Nana!

    I'm not great with metaphors as you know, so I'm hoping that I managed to at least interpret parts of the poem properly.

    All I know, is that I want to read it again and again and again, it just captivates me completely!

    Your raw emotion has leaked through and though I may have sensed what is not there (with the 'hope') I could really feel your pain and sorrow throughout the piece.

    A really fantastic write. 5/5