Living In Yesterday

This one does break your heart. Though at the first stanza there is a tiny bit of hope. I love how you describe the hug as something so magical that it can heal a hurt heart. The wording is perfect to show the two sides love can hold. The character who is sad you show vividly that sadness even held by love kills you. The way the story enfolds she is trying to get you to open up and the wording it seems like you don't know how to express your true feelings. The last lines are extremely powerful and proves that the past can be very overwhelming. Overall beautiful poem!

Wow. Very sad indeed. Very nice flow though.

I think what I really like about this piece is its easy yet constant flow. You might not be aware, which I highly doubt, but I think the meter of this piece is nearly perfect.

:)

I'm sighing right now... this makes my heart wrench.

First stanza: I adore your opening. I assume you are meaning that your heart is cold... but she almost had you warmed up by holding you, giving you the motivation to want to feel something again.

Second: You ached to tell her your feelings, but they came out silent....as they do often.

Third: I love how you said your silence created a thick fog, that's wonderful. It works very nice.

Fourth: The relationship obviously didn't work out. I'm not sure if it was because she couldn't handle the silence or if you couldn't truly let her know your feelings because of the silence. I love how you personified time.

Ending: Fantastic ending. She will be dying for tomorrow towards moving on, I suppose... moving on mend her broken heart...while you will be stuck in yesterday, wallowing in heartbreak and possibly regret of never allowing to break the silence.

Wonderful poem, think I'll add to my favorites I love it that much. :)

Keep writing!

You've still got it. Now use it some more. -Nik