Comments : Going Away

  • 11 years ago

    by Autuumnbree

    Aw...this is a very sad poem. It's true when we lose someone in death we want to see them again. I like that at the end of this heartbreaking piece you speak of seeing your love one again, those last lines definitely brings a light hope into the picture.

    • 11 years ago

      by Silent Scribbler

      Thank you. =) And I do believe that one day I will get to see her again.

  • 11 years ago

    by NobodyKnowsItButMe

    At first, I thought u were going to write a poem about break-ups and all...but Oh! Even worse... its kind of an elegy...
    These lines, "Never brings you back to me.

    You're in a better place I kno.

    I just wasn't ready for you to go." really changed the tone of the poem. I like the way you wrote it; keeping the readers tensed, drawing their attention, letting them (me) think 'what really is the reason she left...?'
    Over all well written! I like it so much...
    P.s: I've noticed two spelling errors i.e in line 7 "Life is just to short they say." it should be 'too' not 'to' & in this line"You're in a better place I kno." 'kno' should be 'know' (though i know u didn't mean to write 'kno', i.e., just a typing error).
    5/5

    • 11 years ago

      by Silent Scribbler

      Well thank you very much. And yeah, ok smarty pants ;) I text on the phone too much, I suppose. But thank you for giving me a heads up. I'll get right on fixing it =)

  • 11 years ago

    by DeviousCharmer

    I really liked it. it showed your pain and other emotions. very deep . things will get better, i hope.

  • 11 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!

    You definitely have a way with
    Words Mr Scribbler...

    There's a deep sad picture in my head...

    During the dark hours I see your tears, as you fall apart in solitude... After a day of putting on a brave face.

    Images Of you walking behind a coffin, to your loved ones final resting place... Where you say fair well to a body but I'll see you later to a soul.

    "I'm always going to miss you.
    As I know you'll miss me too.
    Although I guess it's not goodbye.
    It's just a see you soon."

    ^^ never let go of this kiddo.
    My favourite stanza.

    Great write :)

  • 11 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    OUTSTANDING, I fell in love with this form the first verse on, wonderful wording and describtion. I think this might be one of my favorites of yours too, maybe my top favorite, 100/100 100/100 100/100 100/100