Wow I can't believe the message and the power and truth in this poem,,it's very well thought out and so much reality,,cuz really we're all equal no mater who we are or what believe. As I've heard and said "it's not religion it's our relationship with God."
I have to say, I'm becoming a powerful fan of In your face poetry... the kind you have penned here, where it speaks of a powerful message that I am a firm believer on... many people justify indescribable acts in the name of "Lord" and it truly leaves me disgusted and speechless... thank you for sharing this piece... its mouth dropping!
4 years ago
by average thoughts
U knw david, i hate this thing wen ppl try to prove dat thr religion is superior than others.
Ur piece is superb..
LP, the poem carries a simple message more important to appreciate than its form. It is a vent written in 5 mts and was never designed to be a perfect form. I can see why you cannot appreciate either the content or the form, which is understandable, but putting condescending remarks like "It's like I'm reading a 4 years old child paragraph.." are not what I would expect from someone who is a team leader and supposed to encourage others.
Poetess thank you for your comments, but your praise of a post by LP that is without any real substance or suggestion and chastizing at best, is unfortunate and points to a real issue in the way how this comment was judged...Larry included. You praised it within minutes of LP putting it down, telling me you guys were working together.
I am really ashamed of all 3 of you for doing this. It is equally shameful that you can approve such a worthless comment that I bet no other mod would have approved it. I think Larry, you should retract your approval.
Personnaly I think saying "Poetically, I can't appreciate this as a poem", or "For those who lied to you and said it's a good poem; it's totally not", is not very helpful to you, and is kind of rude, and not true, not offence to them, I hope they don't take it the wrong way, but I liked the flow of these piece, I think you had good things to say, even though I am quite relgious and in that way I had to step back when I read this, I think your emotion is spelled out perfectly in the poem. I write long poems mostly and perferably, (for me), so I probably don't have mcuh right to say this, but personnaly I don't think the length of a poem matters as much as it's meaning, I tihnk you did wuite a good job, and have more talent then given credit for, I am really relgious, and the only thing I'd like to say is I felt like you were dissing the christian religion, I could be tired, it late here, but warn someone on the top if that' the case, over all I think you poured your emotions out well and did a great job, don't ever stop writing
I am going to join the 'liars'
I wrote a very similar poem a few weeks ago. yours deals in facts that cannot be ignored. i love the message and the debate it will invoke. That is what great poems should do. well done.
This hit hard. I wonder at times however if it's really god's words or us? It seems we, humans, have always been talented so far in making up reasons to strike one another in order to prove our superiority. Had there been no religion I'm sure we would've found other motivators.
As to the poem, what I liked most I guess was your tone. This was no dead write - for example, at the part of "so die, none believer!" I heard it being shout out. Not to mention, I value poems hat have are thought provoking and have message.
If I were to change a single thing I would in the 1st stanza make it "and holy texts" instead of "written in holy texts" and in the last stanza I would've removed the first line and went on saying "Reserve places..etc" but then again, that's the way I read it. Well done you.