Comments : Dark Skies (Acrostic)

  • 11 years ago

    by Autuumnbree

    Great imagery it's easy for the reader to visualize the sky and it dept. The skies are beautiful no matter what and I love the way you wrote this piece inviting the readers to use all theirs senses. Great poem

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    I personally like this one:

    Dancing daintily
    Among azaleas aroma,
    Rapid rumbles radiate,
    Kissing kettle

    -- I like the use of azaleas which are according to the dictionary is a flowering shrub and thanks to Google and its picture I could imagine the flowers in this piece.

    I pretty much could picture the tornado in the above. Which in my opinion was described with this two sentences "Rapid rumbles radiate kissing kettle"

    The use of the word kettle was the one that made me picture the tornado. It added that special touch. you know as the water boils and how vapor forms. That's how I picture the tornado... when the vapor goes out as the water boils.

    The second part if I didn't misunderstand was describing the moving of the tornado and how salyersville greets the tornato and how the tornado took away important memories from the ville into isolated places.

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Omg, kettle skies....what awesome and unique wording to described the color of the sky. That's incredible.

    Excellent use of azaleas ...Hannah this whole acrostic was awesome! Hard for me to really comment on!

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    I really love your attempt!! Awesome piece and also the alliterations!!
    Wonderful job

  • 11 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    What a wonderful job you did here Hannah

  • WOW! This is incredible Hannah.
    Acrostics are difficult (at least to me) without the added constriction of alliteration too.

    The poem flows rather smoothly, though with the differing alliterations per line it gives the piece a steady rhythm that adds to the effect of the tornado I think.

    "Dancing daintily"

    ^^
    This is quite a beautiful way of writing about a tornado, and certainly unique. In a sense I suppose it is a beautiful thing only not the destruction it causes.

    The second part brings such sadness to my heart - so many memories lost and possibly lives too (?) destroyed enough to turn them to dust (figuratively speaking but therefore unsalvagable).

    Nice work.

    Five/five

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Though the meaning/story behind the piece is extremely sad and heartbreaking, you added a touch of nature that shows the beauty of the world regardless of disasters and natural occurrences.

    I always find that acrostics take away natural flow from a piece because it is so constricted and adding alliteration I would think would take that away that flow even further, but this is an exception, it is smooth and transitional, very easy to read, even with the complex words...draws to the uniqueness of this piece...I like the use of kettle skies, a very original image and way too describe a dark sky.

    Loved this piece, certainly shows your talent...
    :)