Barren (Haiku)

by Ingrid de Klerck   Nov 4, 2012


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Barren (Haiku)

streets swept clean from leaves
ominous clouds heralding
winter's arrival

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Thank you Amanda (Mandy) for the title!

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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    A very dark and powerful piece, Ingrid, created in such a small space. A great achievement.
    All the very best,
    Ben

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Ingrid,

    Haiku - this format is difficult and though many, myself included have often thought we had this form nailed, we did not.

    I am of the opinion that this short form allows a 'snap shot' of a moment and allows the depth of thought to concentrate into an intense bright light with which to write up to 17 syllables.

    The title is so symbolic of many things and because of this it is intriguing. It makes this reader think of emptiness, a void, a place, a thing robbed of meaning, fabric, emotions, I could go on. A great title.

    Five words and syllables. The word 'streets' to me I am now seeing a town and all its streets, perhaps larger still, a country and all its streets. One word and a whole big meaning. I know its not a simile as this form is about nature. Next word, 'Swept'. this conjures a gigantic broom going to work on the town. In a few magical strokes the next three words, 'clean, from leaves' are executed. I like this too. I imagine the Autumn wind blowing through and taking away the rot. Making way for the cold.

    Next line - here you compress the seven syllables into three words, 'ominous, clouds, heralding' Ominous - a word, that can be dark and fill a person with dread. Clouds - these too can be dark, so the two words together compound the meaning. more dark and more fear perhaps. But, this last word dismisses this totally. Heralding, suggest that these dark clouds and something to celebrate and to rejoice. No need to fear the weather, the season.
    Third line - ' Winter's arrival' The last line is where the first two make sense - the form rings true. It also allows this reader to appreciate the fear some have of this season, but actually it is indeed something to rejoice. Without it, the world would be full of rot and spring would not be as rejuvenating if it did not come from a barren land.

    Well done Ingrid.

    Take care

    Michael (((hugs)))

  • 2 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Loved it, absolutely!5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by LJ Roodt

    Haiku so well written Ingrid and yet you still used words to make it visual. Amazing how few words can portray winter's arrival, well done

  • 4 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Superlative Ingrid, A Lovely Haiku!!!