Comments : A letter to KEVO

  • 11 years ago

    by One Man Clan

    Eash jowek ya bent?
    Me5de 7abet thyo2 bel sob7?

  • 11 years ago

    by Sunshine

    LMAO 7abet shoo ? hhhhhhhhh she is on medicationn

  • 11 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Too many filler words, but the general idea is powerful and hits home. I wept by the 5th line.

    I once loved Kevin too, and let me tell you, he's a heartbreaker. Please be careful, Noura. Be careful because that man will rip your heart out of your chest and take a bite out of it, staring at you in the eyes the whole time like a feral hyena.

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by sibyllene

    OOOOOOOOMG! NOURA! PERFECTION! I am astounded once again by your writing abilities.

    "I need to know what
    you're feeling for me, okay? I
    cannot stand waiting so spineless
    like a whiny pregno
    here."

    ^^^^^^^^^^^
    This made me cry.

    "Tell me, do you love me?
    Do you shiver when I walk by?
    Do you
    fl***in' imagine me before sleep
    and after breakfast
    and during your
    lonely tea party where
    you sit alone by the
    windowsill?"

    ^^^^^^^
    This part was surprisingly erotic. I like how you imply that he's thinking about your charms throughout the day, even after breakfast. If you were older, I'd say you should remove the censoring and just go full-on explicit section. But I think that can wait.

    However, I would change "walk" to something more special like "strut," "shimmy," or "sashay." These words have more flavour.

    "You don't
    even like my stuff on FB.
    Why the hell am I even tiring
    myself?"

    ^^^^^^^^^^^

    OMG SO GOOD! This section brings it back to reality. There's so much emotion. You are the queen of FLOW.

  • 11 years ago

    by Kevin

    YOU DO KNOW MY WIFE READS THIS SITE RIGHT?

  • 11 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I can see why Kevin is so impressed
    He knows a great poem when he reads it

  • 11 years ago

    by Decayed

    LOL Rab HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.

    * BTW, this poem is fabulous!!! You're a goddamn talented girl

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Nice!!!