Comments : Child Abduction [Quatern]

  • 4 years ago

    by Mohan

    Once again you did a gud job frnd
    nice written

  • 4 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Alisha,
    Nice entry!
    Minor issues: line 12 has 7 syllables; I realize you purposely changed the refrain in line 16, but normally in a quatern it remains static. In this case I believe the exception is well worth it.
    I don't think lines 7 & 8 help your poem - in fact they made me puzzle out their meaning instead of continuing the read.
    Substance: I really like your wry sense of humor. Pathos is the only way to deal with many of life's paradoxes and you do an excellent job of it here. This very event actually happens as the constables report them occasionally in our monthly homeowner meetings. I even get nervous stopping for Jessica & her friends. Even so, I applaud the concern for safety. Well done capturing a slice of modern insanity.

  • Thank you. (:

  • 4 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is an amazing use of a poetry format that uses repitition
    'What has the world come to these days?'
    Quite honestly I cannot think of a corner of this planet where we should not be asking this question This is a poswerful poem well done

  • 3 years ago

    by The Fairy Mary Poppins

    I liked it because it is true the world is cruel and cold and everyone should be weary of even the most loving people no matter if you are related to the person(s) excellent write Alisha 5/5

    -Bet