I love you, i hate you

by Yakari Gabriel   Nov 14, 2012


. sometimes it was love,
sometimes it was hate.

I am self-destructive.
I admit. that some things harm me but I,
I just can't stop. the pain, the rush,
the emotions, the rage
it feels good.

I guess, I'm the type of person
who would rather be a bucket of tears,
because everything
to me is better than emptiness
anyways.

sometimes it was love,
it was the "I don't want you
to leave this room just yet" type of
love,the "please hold me for three more minutes"
type of love, it was starting to feel so normal already
your hands, and mine. your lips and mine.
the hours, the atmosphere.

yes, sometimes it was love.
it was the comfortable silence,
between two strangers in a park, each
in their own world, reading their own books
you don't bother me, I don't bother you
go ahead,fill the empty space beside me

(did you ever truly think of me, when
you were with me anyways?)

sometimes it was love,
sometimes I looked into your eyes
and prayed the world would interrupt
the seconds, and simply pause for me
as if I was something special.

and sometimes, sometimes
it was hate. no wait, most times it was hate.

I want you to leave almost as badly
as I want you to stay, but then if you stay
we are going to argue, and its not like
one of us ever wins anyways.

sometimes it was hate,
I'm bored, let me hurt you.
let me question you, where were you?
with who, is this what you're doing behind my
back all the time, but then you're honest, and
you face it that you fail me, and I get upset, but I forgive
you, I forget what you did, and I just hold you

and it hurts me, but flatters you,
then I hurt you, but it hurts me.

See the difference?

sometimes it was love,
sometimes it was hate.

but it was wrong all the time,
from the beginning, till the end.

wrong, in every single way.

3


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Someone Invisible

    Oops im sorry i really meant to click the 5 but my compter laged and hit 4 this is amazing and has so much honest and pure love and...well not hate even tho you said as much what i got out of it was pain instead..such a pain that i hurt for you now...truly truly amazing work

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Yaki, oh my gosh this is just heartbreaking...Chelsey said it perfectly with the gut-wrenching honesty, because it is just that. I can see you reading this aloud and making the room silent with it. And I feel like all of us just need to do that at some point in our lives.....I get the chills just starting out reading your poem, especially with the self-destructive part. That got to me because I feel in a way we can do that to ourselves, whether in our behavior or how we think, it's easy to punish ourselves or do something despite its outcome.

    This was such an incredible write and has to be read again....there's so much more emotion flowing here than maybe I can even realize, but it seriously pierces my heart. Just getting me thinking about all this confusion, analyzing the moments & love, the moments of hate. But then in the end how you repeat that it was all wrong....wow. Don't have anymore to say, just keep writing and striving as I know you will do :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Holy....crap.....gut wrenching honesty...love love love when you go on such a tangent, let it all out. Hold back nothing, let the whole poem happen naturally....

    Omggggg....if people read this and don't feel emotion then they are cold hearted. Haha seriously, this just completely frustrated me for you. Adding to my faves....sigh*.....I miss this kind of writing from you!

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