I Stood Musing In A Black World

by The Queen   Nov 19, 2012


Spontaneous. Instantaneous. Our thoughts are

like time bombs marking away
each minute
each chunk
of our lives.

Voracious mouth fed by greed,
blood-thirsty lips filled with rage,
lordlier tongues became
venom-encrusted daggers
punching through
the perforated cities
within

our minds.

A battlefield
of good and evil,
of lies, half-baked
and of truth,
half-spoken.

Zealously. Covetously. We are rolling down

the windows of destruction. Peace is but skyscrapers
built on vodka bottles and humanity's but remnants
in fossilized sea floors.

We had breathed the air of various lands and homes
where on every strode of our feet, our faith, full-fledged,
yet, despite it all, savored second chances while foretold
another's life on our hands.

When the air that we breathe
becomes air that we choke,
only then, and, until then,
we truly ache...

to live.

Copyright (C) 2012 by EvanescentMoon.

4


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    How I wish I could nominate!

    This is a Very Powerful deep thought provoking write...

    "A battlefield
    of good and evil,
    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken."

    ^^I sense a strong will here,
    torn between a rock and a hard place to coin a phrase on it.

    The heart and the mind...

    Emotion V's logic

    and

    Feelings V's Reason

    The ultimate battle ground.

    my favourite lines...
    Brilliant write, I'm absolutely gutted I can't nominate this piece... Truly captivating from beginning to end.

    Into the favourite your write goes... Along with you in favourite Author,

    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by Hellon

    I'm not sure how I missed this one...perhaps because I have a tendancy to comment when a member is signed in at the same time as me and...this very seldom happens with us.

    This seemed dark (not dark as in your other writes...darker) fustration and anger came through here I feel...sometimes the world gets me by the throat also but....it just throws me in the corner and continues on...for what difference would I make?

    A battlefield
    of good and evil,
    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken.

    ^^^^

    How true! It doesn't really matter which part of the world we live in....these words speak to us all.

    Very powerful write...enjoyed!

  • 4 years ago

    by zombiepikachu

    I want to really praise you for this. This is beautiful writing, sort of post/modernistic. I like that when you read the poem, you have to focus. It's not like a whiny teenage girl has written this; it is someone that has been moved by a great emotion. I think you really have beautiful diction and imagery and you give me hope that not all is lost in the worlds way of expressing ourselves. This is beautiful. Good job c:

  • 4 years ago

    by DeafBeats

    A truly beautiful ending.

    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken.

    Great balance there - love that small part

    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by Formidable Muse

    "When the air that we breathe
    becomes air that we choke,
    only then, and, until then,
    we truly ache...

    to live."

    ^^Amen. This is truly a beautiful write.
    I lovee your word choices and form you used throughout this! These words hold so much power, I feel so much pain in this poem though. It puts me into a deep state of thought.

    "We had breathed the air of various lands and homes
    where on every strode of our feet, our faith, full-fledged,
    yet, despite it all, savored second chances while foretold
    another's life on our hands."
    ^^Are you referring to religion here? (don't answer that.haha) I feel like that could be one meaning... Or even saying this in the sense that throughout are lives we hold so much in our hands through breaking hearts, loving people, forgiveness, bonding, all the pain we see and lives we touch. This totally makes me think.

    "Zealously. Covetously. We are rolling down

    the windows of destruction. Peace is but skyscrapers
    built on vodka bottles and humanity's but remnants
    in fossilized sea floors."

    ^^Wow! That's intense. Definitely my favorite lines although that is a hard decision, I'm actually not sure. But wow.

    "our minds.

    A battlefield
    of good and evil,
    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken."
    ^^Another interesting perception. Half-baked? Nice choice. I've found that our minds can be almost as deceptive as our hearts. The biggest battlefield in our lives.

    "Voracious mouth fed by greed,
    blood-thirsty lips filled with rage,
    lordlier tongues became
    venom-encrusted daggers
    punching through
    the perforated cities
    within"
    ^^What an image. I can't describe what I think about this stanza, other then (again) wow!

    "Spontaneous. Instantaneous. Our thoughts are

    like time bombs marking away
    each minute
    each chunk
    of our lives."
    ^^Spontaneous, instantaneous.. Nice. I love how you did something similar to that in two sections it adds to the beautiful form.

    Your use of punctuation made me extremely happy as well. It made it simple to read and gave it a very lovely flow.

    This is one of those poems I wish I could nominate but yet am powerless. But it's going to my favorites!
    Oh and sorry to comment backwards, I didn't realize I did that until proofreading it. O.o

    The title drew me in btw, it was a very nice choice as well.

    Anyway, now that I'm done writing you a novel. I again will say, wow (: