You did a very good job. These kinds of forms with such tough restrictions on syllables are difficult to use and get the message expressed where it makes sense. You did that, so a big well done. It sounds like that youth is bound and caught in the web of greed by wanting THINGS to make their life good. That is really true in today's world. THINGS are not what makes a good and full life, perhaps someday young people will learn this. I sincerely hope so because if they don't, they are missing so much in life.
I always love when I stumble about a form of poetry that I haven't come across before....never heard of this style before but...I loved it. You've done a wonderful job getting such a powerful message across in such a restricted form.....very well done! Thing this must have won while I was gone and I missed it when it was on the front page. ...glad I found it today!
Meena has intoxicated me with this breathtaking formed poem! I'm Drunk!!
The title made me have a visionary display of a greedy man wrapped in a spiders web, with money stuck in his jaws and that was just with the title alone!
I truly admire formed poems that (a) highlight the form with spot on syllable count and (b) leave me speechless with the flow and rhythm of the formed piece as well..
The message took me in several angles: Greedy businessmen feeding on today's youth just to make a dollar and where nothing is sage when greed and shame is luring the innocent... This piece was sad, and honest, mixed with class... Brilliant piece in my eyes!! Well Done