Empty minds [Eintou]

by Khalid M Darwish   Nov 20, 2012


Always
empty vessels
make noise more than filled ones
So do the empty-mind humans
So, do not waste your time
in arguing
with them.

* 2/4/6/8/6/4/2

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by The Queen of Spades

    This is a very interesting style that I've never seen before, you did a really great job with fitting such a clear message in a potentially difficult format.

    And I totally agree with this - if you've got nothing going on in your brain, don't open your mouth! (Much less poetic phrasing than yours!)

  • 11 years ago

    by Ashdown

    So true. I feel like people with wisdom hold back there thoughts and usually speak when they feel needed. But fools blabber away constantly, always arguing and filling the air with empty words.

    This poem is extremely intriguing, wonderful form.

  • So basically, you're saying don't argue with stupid people because they have a lot to say on nothing - they fill the silence with noise in a room, because their mind is bored with silence .. ?

    Is that right?
    Or have I missed something or completely over-stepped?

    Oh, well I think I understand it, just may not be conveying that very well above (I'm terrible at explaining things especially my own thoughts, haha!)

    I have never seen this poetry form before and I'm really intrigued. Maybe I will give it a go. Is there more constrictions than just the syllable count?

    ^^ Sorry, I'm getting side-tracked.

    Your syllable count was spot on!
    Your word choice and arrangement was effective for the content.
    The flow and pace of the piece are suitable.

    The only suggestion:
    I don't feel the comma is needed in the fourth line, it reads fine without it.
    But that's up to you. (:

    Great message !
    (even if I did happen to misconstrue it in my above explanation, haha)

    Five/Five

    • 11 years ago

      by Khalid M Darwish

      Thank you Alish! Even if you concentrate on the concrete shape of the poem you'll find as if it resembles a cupsilled up to the top.

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Hehe, sometimes we just have to fill them...

    other times, we end up empty us too... so yeah, when we are half empty we better stop that there is no point in continuing empty us, since they are not filling themselves up and neither are we.

  • 11 years ago

    by Meme

    Love the poem, love the message it delivers and love this new form!

    Great piece.