Comments : First Love (Haynaku Verse)

  • 4 years ago

    by Khalid

    A lovely piece. I adored the message. I think you may change the punctuation (:) with a hyphen (-), like what we make in haikus. Here I'd like to say, if I'm not mistaken, that not always these emotions finally break free. Some get stronger and stronger, unless you mean something else by "breaking free".
    Finally, the message is so strong with few words.
    5/5

    Love:
    unguarded emotions
    finally breaking free.

  • Thank you Khalid.

    'breaking free' has a double connotation here actually. It is as you said, love growing over time, but before that and this is referred to in the title, first love, so the emotions being felt for the first time, being unlocked from deep within.