Keep Your Face Water [Tanka]

by Khalid M Darwish   Dec 25, 2012


You'll notice one day
that you're expired in their hearts
don't waste time asking
but take with you what's remained
of pride and depart away

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Suggestions:

    You'll notice one day,
    you have expired in their hearts.
    Waste no time asking.
    Gather your remaining pride
    and depart far far away.

    I thought it may sound better to use imperative tone through out the piece rather than just within some lines.

    Also, I am not sure what to infer from the title. It sounds a bit strange.

    • 11 years ago

      by Khalid M Darwish

      The title infers that face water should be kept. It means if you don't take advice then your face water is lost and yr face will get drought.

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