Amreen this is really an awesome write of you. I loved the relation of the barefoot running child with the shoe-polish work. I can extract the poverty from this relation. Above all, he's also a kite runner, building hopes with on his hobby and sleeping on his kite, revealing his strong relation with it as the only ventillating means available in his childhood, especially when living with poor family. Of course, people like this child dream to be a good captain as all rich people and build dreams on this basis.
Thank you very much for sharing this marvelous poem, .... nominated
I really like the way you told this story because many children in poor countries have to learn a trade at tender age to help support their family. I really like how your poems touches on issues that many don't often talk about or think upon. I think this story is beautiful and sad in its own way.
6 years ago
Very well written, amreen....
This poem not only talks about the boy alone (infact he is just a representation of poverty) but also draws a vivid picture of how poverty stricken people try to manage their lives with their meagre earnings (alms) and how they are satisfied with whatever small amount/handful of food they have to feed themselves.
So.....it's a 5/5 from me! :)
Nice story... It would be even better if there wz a little drama like ''the kite runner looks up the sky where his kite hovers n tears fills his eyes not in sadness of his ragged state but 4 envy in d kite been able 2 soar high inspite of it's ragged state''... Adding emotion would make d peom alive wit power.
First of all, congrats on the win! I've wanted to comment on this for some time now and just haven't had the time.
I adore how you always write about social issues that most people wouldn't even know how to begin to write. You always turn the most saddest subjects about this world into some beautiful poetry.
The contradiction of him being barefoot and being a shoe polisher is very interesting and works well, I'm sure there are plenty of kids who can relate...and that breaks my heart.
"But his entire fascination lies in his kite,
whose life is alike him-
torn and ragged,
taking a failed flight in the sky of life."
This stanza stands out from the whole piece, I think. The metaphor of his life is through the kite... it just ties the whole piece together.
We all should be more grateful for what we do have, we all complain about having things we truly don't need when these young children work so hard every day just to earn enough to help feed their family, sometimes they get a reward like he did in this, but yet it's just a penny. Think of all the children here who get allowances of 50 to 100 dollars a week...that could feed his family for a whole month and they waste it on video games, etc. This is really a thought provoking piece and I'm so glad that it won. It's truly deserved. :)
I am grateful for your beautiful commentHannah:)
I feel we always have a voice to opine for our condition, and so giving a voice to these unheard hereos and brave people makes me feel privileged!
And Im glad I get my message across:)
Very vivid imagery. it really is touching how bright and adventurous the world of a child can be, no matter how unliveable and horrible an adult might find a similar situation. the child finding hope in this kite is really and truly inspirational, this was a very good read with virtually no distracting errors of any kind. this really did deserve to win
perfectly defined main character, absolutely flawless
6 years ago
This is beautiful, congrats on the win it's very well deserved. The image you create with the little boy is so vivid and innocent as well as extremely powerful and touching.
He accepts the gift of hardwork
with a smile.
^^This line jumped out at me as I was reading. How someone in his situation can take this with a smile, he sounds so brave and hopeful. Should hard work be two words? -That's my only critique.
This poem is going into my favorites, it's amazing. I would say more but the words aren't coming to me at the moment.
Amreen, you are amongst my favourite Poets, and are truly talented. Well done for yet another great and interesting poem.
I see the images clearly as you paint some fantastic images with your beautiful words.
A great piece Amreen!