Comments : He, Who Observed That Good Lady

  • 11 years ago

    by Hellon

    Ok..now that I have been successful in nominating this lovely poem...the author can now put it back where he chose it to be..in the love category.

    To be honest...I just totally loved the olde worlde vocab in this poem...it was so very charming to me. I will say I was not overly keen on capitalising EVERY sentence and I thing you slightly over done it with missing certain letters out ( is there actually a word for that?) but overall...I found it most appealing...very well done...

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Oh thank you Hellon for nominating this piece! I read this poem yesterday and fell in love with it... I do enjoy the old feeling and word usage... very pretty.... just an outstanding piece...

    • 11 years ago

      by Kiino

      I appreciate the comments. Thank you.

      Regarding the missing out of letters. I did it purposely, i thought it would be better if I make the number of syllables the same on each line. For the capitalization, Mr. Hellon, I'm really used to capitalizing initial letter because I came across poems with same style, so i adopted it personally. But might try not to~

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Your poem is a gem. It made me think of Victorian Times and the naivety of love when courtship advanced by gradations. "The good lady" is the muse, the one who is contemplated, the incarnation of serene beauty, but in no time the narrator portrays her as a seductive woman. Her beauty lies in her respect to the strict codes of that time which made courtship so seductive, in relation to what we have nowadays where people have no time to know each other before they have more intimacy. I am not being puritan but I still think that some stages shouldn't been skipped. Well, at least if you are really interested in a serious relationship.

    Well, I fell in love with your peace not only because of the flow: the rhyme is flawless but also because of the images which are idyllic. I also liked your choice of words which are perfect for your piece. Well done!

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    What a way to introduce yourself to the site. You write a masterpiece and I don't band that word about that often. It reads beautifully, I love how you have your own style already. You have removed a few letters and I can ignore the capitalization, it is very oldy worldy style yet it compliments this piece very well. We always talk about imagery as if we are all experts, This is a lesson in imagery. Great piece Kiino and welcome to the site. I can imagine we will be seeing quite a lot of your poetry nominated.