Comments : Wings Of Innocence

  • 4 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Oh mercy Saffie I love this! Birds are very spiritual to me... this is beautiful!

    How about Scattered Feathers or Feathers of Tears or Wings of Innocence ?

  • 4 years ago

    by Beautiful Disaster

    This is so beautiful my favorite line is

    "I once was a Swan who believed in her beauty
    but you were the Canary with the voice of power that stripped her naked."

    this has truly been one of the best poems that i have read in a while. so much so that i nominated it for the weekly contest haha! good luck and amazing work!
    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    I will have to come back to this...
    Very sad write missy <3

    "Feathered Perish"?

  • 4 years ago

    by L

    I like this write

    my suggestions for title...

    The African Crowned Eagle

    or The Hierarchy of Feathers....

  • 4 years ago

    by Ares

    I find this very interesting! I do love birds and what they can represent. (Freedom, death, etc.)
    I´m also drawn to the fact that the person this poem is directed towards always becomes a bigger, better type of bird and you describe very well the feeling of helplessness. (not how you spell it, hehe, but you get the idea)

    As for the title, I guess you just sort of have to feel it yourself, I mean I could maybe suggest a few, but it´s your poem and it´s written with your ink. I´m excited to see what you eventually end up calling it though :)

    First 5 of the day!

    Ares

  • 4 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I am so happy this won!! It was a beautiful piece sweet Saffie <3

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Saffie, this was such a powerful write. I love the strength of your comparisons and that stress & emphasis of the drastic differences between this person and you...how you could never rest easily or be at peace because you were somehow not as great as this person who would always trap you. What a story you told and I learned a lot about the birds and their meaning too :] Congratulations on the win!!!

  • 4 years ago

    by Rusheena

    One word: Amazing! Congrats on your win; you definitely deserved it.

  • 4 years ago

    by Angel

    Nice one dear.
    I love this.

  • 4 years ago

    by Darren

    This is probably one of the best poems I have ever read on here.

    Glad it won.

    going in to my favourites.

  • 4 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This was very well crafted! I liked how you have used each bird, described them and weaved with a person's nature. It gives a very clear picture of a person who wants to believe in herself and fly free but is over powered by someone who is very domineering..sad and touching write.

    Congrats on the win.

  • 4 years ago

    by NightFlyer

    Beautiful poem, this is a well-deserved contest winner. The imagery of all the birds as representing all these qualities was exquisite! :)

  • 4 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Saffie :)

    A late congratulations from me. I've read this a few weeks ago, but didn't have time to comment. It is one of my favourites by you. I never thought one could use that much metaphor, similes, and create such beauty as this.

    One thing:

    "that your soul purpose was to destroy
    me."

    I believe it should be 'sole'.?

    A fully deserved win. Write more.

  • 3 years ago

    by Im a poetic scholar

    Wonderful

  • 3 years ago

    by christopher

    I like your poetry a lot but I cant help thinking how u might be using ideas from other poems and not your own ideas. however I maybe wrong and If I am I apologise. your work is on the way to been good but you have a way to go yet. keep up the writing welldone

  • 3 years ago

    by Midnight Sky

    I give this one a 5\5 & two thumbs up :)

  • 3 years ago

    by Tara

    Your endings are so powerful!! Another poem where the ending gave me goosebumps. I can feel your words, this is very well done. 5/5 ~Tara

  • 3 years ago

    by Maher

    I love birds and this poem is my cup of tea. I especially love the many different birds used to represent the changes and pressures you describe artfully in this poem. A poem that involves research, cultural belief and superstition to a degree.

    In other words, I really like it!

  • 3 years ago

    by Beautiful Tragedy

    Your an amazing writer. you give writing a new twist. good job.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Birds have been a passion of mine for years Saffie, so I was instantly drawn to this. Original, clever piece and I loved the ending.