Disgust

You look at me with disgust and I don't know why it seems like all that I ever do is wrong I can never make you happy I try and try but I can never fill the pain. Until I found cutting the pain finally filled the void of your disgust I know it's probably not right but it's the only thing that fills the pain talking about my feelings doesn't help anyone no one care it doesn't bother me I guess but there's times were I can't ever handle it and I just want to die and the only way to make that go away is to cut so I do I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop......I get called fat or ugly at least 3 times a day I'm depressed every day sometimes I don't wanna wake up the next morning when I get to school I compare myself too everyone that skinnier than me I try to do things to make myself look better and then when I get home my mom looks at me like she gave birth to a demon or something and sometimes I just cry myself to sleep sometimes