Dose of Cancer (Burns Stanza)

by Maple Tree   Feb 6, 2013


Tired eyes, of a sleepless night
drinking coffee, a wretched sight
hasn't begun to win the fight
of waking up in his morning glory,
he needs to eat, "take a bite"
he's not hungry, end of story.

My gallant lad, upon his throne
he sits, waits in a somber tone
feeling ill and all alone
I wait in tears of emotion,
his misery is something I can't condone
wishing there was an elixir or potion.

To end this evil curse of cancer
sometimes I cry out in anger
getting tired of this illness dancer,
I'll hug him softly, hold him close
nobody seems to have an answer
another day, another dose.

Burns Stanza Form:

In this form Burns makes the first three lines rhyme and the fifth. The fourth and sixth lines become the second rhyming pair.
The pattern is thus....

x x x x x x x a
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x b
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x b

    report violation
2


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    How nice it is to come across a form in the weekly contest that I haven't seen before. It is fairly simple but it is very effective. Maple tree has taken a subject that is close to so many people and written a gem. There is huge emotion in this, but interestingly it reads as written from the point of view of the person helping the sufferer not the person with the cancer themselves. It shows how this can effect everybody close to the person diagnosed.
    The rhyme scheme works very well, as expected by this writer it is not only unforced it is also very clever. Both 'dancer' and 'answer' can be pronounced slightly differently dependent on your accent.
    (think dar-ncer or dan- cer)
    I awarded this 7 points because I felt stanza 1 was so abrupt and 'matter-of-fact' I felt the frustration in this, well done.

  • 11 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    A poem of reality. The wording revealed the pain and how it touches everyone. Excellent

  • 11 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    You know Andrea, I'm going to
    have to try this form... the flow
    Works well with the tone of this
    Write.

    It is I, that is now struggling to comment.
    This topic hits many so hard...

    My heart goes out to you <3

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Andrea, I read this a few days ago and just found it again because I wanted to leave a comment. First I wasn't sure if I was going to say anything but I want you to know how much this touches me. My grandpa suffered from pancreatic cancer. The times I went after school I don't regret because although it was hard to see him deteriorate, it's something I needed to do. When you wrote about wanting him to take a bite but him never being hungry, that got to me, that was so...spot on. I think we all wonder why can't there be a cure for cancer, or a less painful way to pass away? So sorry for your suffering...I really wish I could give you a hug, I'm sorry about whoever this person is and their relationship to you, nothing is easy but there's always strength within us, even if we can't find it sometimes.

    P.S. Like the others who've commented, I'd never seen/heard of this form before and you did amazing, you really showed the beauty of the form probably better than many could!

  • 11 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Nominated....................

Read All Comments (12)

More Poems By Maple Tree