This is without a doubt, my most favorite poem to date, that I have ever read on this website.

I can't tell if you were trying to create something of total brilliance, or just expressing your thoughts - and darling, either way, it's an extremely wonderful piece. I knew five words into it, this would be added into my favorite poems.

"Right now I'm sitting in a coffee shop
where the hipster thumbdrive playlist
is thrumming two clicks too loud,
and the mocha I'm drinking is as sweet
as the man behind the counter,
and just as thoroughly unsatisfying."

^Right here, I love the flavor of the poem. I actually felt like I was sitting in a coffee shop. There's a place in my town called The Daily Grind, and it's vintage hipster coffee shop, with attractive workers and super sweet flavors. This brings me right to their front door as I read through this.

"I'm breathing in the wet dry thick thin steam
so particular to espresso grounds,
wondering when the weather's gonna clear up, and while
my swanky new computer looks engaging,
right now the internet seems as fast and free
as bad porn, but less fulfilling.
I'm watching the family across the room crack
cookies and smiles into their tea cups, codifying
the collegiate dream, and I just want so badly
to write something great, but there's nothing
here to write about and I don't have anything
worthwhile to say."

^This is a very sensory stanza. The "I'm breathing in the wet dry thick thin steam so particular to espresso grounds" was worded perfectly. I re-read that several times just to read it. I also like your thoughts in this stanza. The 'swanky new computer' line made me laugh. Nothing like a fancy laptop and a Grade A coffee shop together, right? :) When you observe the families eating and try to get an idea to write about, I literally feel like you wrote this from my own head. I do that constantly. Stare at something common or simple and try to search for a deeper meaning in it, just for a subject.

Although the last few lines in this stanza are

"I just want so badly
to write something great, but there's nothing
here to write about and I don't have anything
worthwhile to say."

it made me feel like this was the mind of every poet, and the thought process we all come to at some point. And when we do finally write something we feel is great, then we feel like we've said exactly what was on our minds, and something worthwhile. This poem makes it sound like you're struggling to find something to write about, and by doing so, you turned it into a magnificent piece.

"So I stare intelligently at my computer,
ramble about atmosphere and glare critically
at my fingernails. I watch the college students
trudge through their textbooks, and pretend I'm
free and clever and capable and unattached and unattainable and
while I'm being superior,
my coffee melts in its saucer, and
the leafy foam design from the smiling barista
puckers in the rising chocolate like bad fruit.
I take a sip, thinking about ruined aesthetics
and I wonder what it would take to make me happy,
what it would take for me to be satisfied."

^I really can't even find the words to fully break down this last stanza, other than WOW. I feel the impatience in the beginning of this stanza.

"So I stare intelligently at my computer,
ramble about atmosphere and glare critically
at my fingernails."

I LOVE that. You sound irritable with the situation, and the fingernails are always an automatic focal point if you're under stress or tweaking out for some reason. It was such a deeper part than I think you intended it to be.

And the description of your drink at the end, I won't even describe because I cannot do it justice.

This was a WONDERFUL piece, and I sincerely hope it gets the recognition it obviously deserves. You are a flawless writer, my dear.

My apologies for the length of this comment!

Congrats on your win.

It's the title that got me to read what this poem is all about and thought I would not like it but I was proved wrong!

Right now I'm sitting in a coffee shop
where the hipster thumbdrive playlist
is thrumming two clicks too loud,
and the mocha I'm drinking is as sweet
as the man behind the counter,
and just as thoroughly unsatisfying.

^^This is a nice introduction to your poem. It
sets the scene and shows the reader the mood
of the writer and what is seen by the writer.

I'm breathing in the wet dry thick thin steam
so particular to espresso grounds,
wondering when the weather's gonna clear up, and while
my swanky new computer looks engaging,
right now the internet seems as fast and free
as bad porn, but less fulfilling.
I'm watching the family across the room crack
cookies and smiles into their tea cups, codifying
the collegiate dream, and I just want so badly
to write something great, but there's nothing
here to write about and I don't have anything
worthwhile to say.

^^This part I must say is my favorite. For it
involves everything, sight, touch, smell and
feelings. As I read this it was like watching a scene of a movie...very nicely penned!

Overall I found this write very real life like which takes the reader along with the writer without any let down. Congrats on the win :)

"This poem reads rather prosaic and needless to say detailed, which makes it a risky read (especially to the tired mind), but I must say that the poet's very interesting way of wording and her blunt statements really made this poem lively and that she was also able to keep the reader interested despite its heaviness. When I read the poem I could imagine myself sitting at the exact same spot as the poet, bored and looking around me, seeing all the things that she just described and experiencing the same mixed feelings. It's actually so effective in pulling the reader in, that I found myself philosophizing just like the poet did. I find it truly eye-opening how the poet just sucked me into a random cafe wandering to random thoughts, just to strike me with those last three lines that question such a huge matter. That, and its intelligent (and humoristic) diction, was what made the poem to me. Well done!"

[Weekly Contest 4-3-2013]

Sorry, double post.

Triple

[Weekly Contest Comment: 3/4/13]

There is a term in psychology called free association that was a method to have patients in therapy say whatever comes to one's mind and see what they are holding back....this poem immediately made me think of this because the poet has this wondrous sense of not describing but showing the ambience to us readers. It was very tasteful too in that I find coffee shops intriguing.... there's always something of the arts there too and so many creative people. I loved the imagery and sounds the poet place right in front of me, and how the end left me thoughtful....how everything is connected in the end with that one mindset of finding a source of satisfaction.

This was so untraditional and i loved that about it. It's funny because just the other day I was trying to write a coffee shop poem lol I couldn't quite make it work but this was great :)

Wonderful Work!!!