The Thaw (Senryu)

by Hellon   Mar 19, 2013


Outside my window
a red scarf and bowler hat-
crestfallen, a child.

@Hellon 19th March 2013

2


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I liked this because you make the readers mind work, and dont just simply say what was in your head in black and white.

    I read every one else's comments about the snowman and I agree that is the strongest image you get purely from the red scarf and hat, it also made me realise that in every film/drawing etc it always seems to be a red scarf??? Wonder why? And a black hat??

    Anyway - I did get another image but more from the tone of the poem and the word crestfall itself. for some reason I got the scene of a mother or someone standing at their window, and gazing out they see perhaps an orphan child curled up in the street, or homeless child, or a child that is neglected at home so can't afford proper clothing. I imagine him to have like little clothing or rags on, but this scarf and hat he has maybe taken from a snow man to keep himself warm.

    ( me head really does go places that are not in the poem lol )

    Anyway - I did like the wording of them poem and thought you followed the haiku rules exactly as it is meant to be, with the fact the first line is meant to offer a though, second line add info or explain the thought, and then finish with ending the thought. Which you done all three, you give us the idea of the view, followed by the materials which give you the image of the snowman, then ending with the word crestfallen and adding child which set the sad tone for the poem.

    Very nice job. I enjoyed

  • 11 years ago

    by Liz

    I thought about a snowman also, then read Darren's comment and I'm not the only one. :P

    I could definitely see this painted on a canvas and hanging on my wall. Brilliant.

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Lovely little haiku. I for one can't wait for the thaw of Spring to begin, this winter is dragging on soo much! However you put a different perspective on this. I just love the word crestfallen, worked so well here! It's unfortunate when all the snowmen melt, as we often see the little child who built it beneath it who is sad to see it disappear.

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    Could this be about a snowman?
    Line 1 radiates warmth you are comparing the cold in the title to your home, peering outside we guess it is cold.
    You see a child, sad that it's snowman is now nothing more than a scarf and hat.
    just a guess
    great Haiku

  • 11 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Love the image of the child whose work of art, perhaps even his imaginary Frosty, alive with hat & scarf, was unable to survive the first thaw of spring.