Comments : I'll take the bottle, but I'll never take your heart

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I could probably highlight this entire poem, I loved it so much. The whole thing. Both of you did such an amazing job that I can't tell who wrote what. The rhyming was also so smoothly done, so well that you hardly realize the poem rhymes. Not sure how you both can pull of a sonnet, I could never do it!

    'Forcing my dim thoughts to slumber and escape'

    'What we were- a twisted beauty that still lies'

    ^I just LOVE these!

    This is just excellent poetry. Often after a heartbreak, sometimes alcohol is the perfect resort to forget, yet at times the pain may be so much that it only helps for a bit of time. Knowing what Jenni is going through this poem fits so well, as I'm sure that was the intent. It's difficult to move on from something like this, because even though their love isn't meant to be, it'd be the best thing for Connor, but sometimes things like this don't work out. Lovely title, a bit long for my taste but it sums up everything in the poem very nicely. Well done!

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Oh ladies, this was just beautifully sad.

    I can relate to this and I guess that is what interested me most is that I understood it, and it felt like I had written it, but I wouldn't have done half a good a job.

    I like the title, actually, I love the title, it's long but that's just unusual and it drew me in, I love that the form isn't added in the title, for it was a lovely surprise.

    MaryAnne and Jenni, I loved this piece, it flowed very well, with good Iambic Pentameter, and the rhymes were smooth throughout, wouldn't expect anything less from you guys.

    Beautiful, sad, exquisite poetry.
    x

  • 11 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    WOW, this was chill sending and breath taking, wonderful job with this poem, I enjoyed reading it and this poem will stay with me, wonderful poem

  • 11 years ago

    by Athanael

    This is a really nice poem, it feels like every single part of it is connected to the other, which is quite astonishing given the fact that it was written by two authors.
    The suffering of betrayal was just too strong to be dealt with directly ... and whilst alcohol might numb the pain, it will never heal the desert of sadness that lies behind.

    A desert that reveals that the oasis that the wanderer had finally found shelter in might have been nothing more than a dream, just like mirages deceive our minds and force us to keep searching even more, in the hope that a new oasis might finally,this time, wake us up and allow us to discover a new world where everything seems to gather new meaning.

    And whilst alcohol might of course numb the feelings, it will never heal the wounds, as it's not by deceiving yourself again that you can finally open yourself to accepting the truth.

    Because when the wanderer really accepts the truth, he/she might be able to move on and, hopefully, find what he/she is really looking for, something that's stronger than tears, stronger than alcohol, stronger than pain, stronger than everything else ...

    Good Job MA and Jenni, really liked this poem :)