Reverie

by Hellon   Mar 23, 2013


Floating on a downy cloud
of rainbow coloured dreams
drifting to a higher place
where nothing's how it seems.

"Just tasting the Feeling"

Gliding through the universe
above the world suspended
a million starbursts playing
to a mind trancended.

"Sky diving"...caught in cobwebs...

.....S.........
.........P.....
.I.............
......N.......
...........N..
....I..........
N.............
.........G....

in a dream like state
from which I never want to wake
the world looks better when opaque
right now.......

@Hellon 23rd March 2012

Revised poem. Inspired by the song 1000 Stars by Natalie Bassingthwaite. The sentences in commas are by the original artist.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Being a dreamer, I couldn't help but love this poem! Reverie is one of my favorite words, I just love it.

    a million starbursts playing
    to a mind trancended.
    ^Lovely lines! The starbursts really came alive, because of the previous line 'just tasting the feeling' Yum.

    "Sky diving"...caught in cobwebs...

    .....S.........
    .........P.....
    .I.............
    ......N.......
    ...........N..
    ....I..........
    N.............
    .........G....
    ^Skydiving sounds dizzy, like your mind has wandered & is lost yet in such a serene and lovely place. Also, not often do I see this in poetry, the motion of something written out like you have done with spinning, it's not my favorite, I feel like it makes the poem look a bit odd, but I can completely understand why you use it. It's different.

    Ooo I may have to listen to the song! The title sounds so inspiring. Very beautiful piece!

    • 11 years ago

      by Hellon

      Thanks for the comment Temps...very much appreciated. I would recommend you listen to this song....it's very beautiful...my daughter chose it as one of her wedding songs and it was perfect!

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Floating on a downy cloud
    of rainbow coloured dreams
    drifting to a higher place
    where nothing's how it seems.

    - very descriptive opening, it sets the tone as quite relaxed and easy and makes the reader just want to hop on board and join you in this place. I like the flow of it and how you can actually feel yourself lifting higher as you describe going higher. I also like the last line because it is such a fitting line to so many things in life, that not everything appears as it is. It is a line that makes you have deep thoughts.

    "Just tasting the Feeling"

    - Wow, this made me think of Skittles, and how your opening stanza would tatse if I was to put a flavour on them. Rainbow coloured skittles :) I love these two senses being mixed, very powerful for your poem.

    Gliding through the universe
    above the world suspended
    a million starbursts playing
    to a mind trancended.

    - tee hee, ok, starbursts instead of skittles then. I love how you continued this peacefulness into this stanza and kept the rhyme which is only subtle but makes the poem flow so smoothly.

    "Sky diving"...caught in cobwebs...

    .....S.........
    .........P.....
    .I.............
    ......N.......
    ...........N..
    ....I..........
    N.............
    .........G....

    - I really like this part ( lay out wise ) because I could not imagine the poem if you had just put spinning as one word on its own. I think it also could represent that fall of coming back down from this place, like coming back to reality.

    in a dream like state
    from which I never want to wake
    the world looks better when opaque
    right now.......

    - I really like that you created this place first before the changed tone of needing to escape something or the world. I think we all have this place we can go to and I love your description through out. Great addition of the word opaque I think it really emphasises how dark reality can be sometimes.

    Loved this one too. Very creative.

  • 11 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    What a captivating day dream...
    imagery is enchanting, I quite happily got lost in your words.

    Nicely penned missy :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Hellon, I am totally in love with this write, the flow was so smooth, it felt really dreamy and the whole scenery was beautiful and really captivating.

    I love the way you added the original quotes in, and how the poem was centred around them but they didn't draw away from the whole piece, they just added a mystery and intrigue to the piece.

    Really loved the whole feel of this write, dear

    x