Comments : Night Terror

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    Firstly I will deal with the 'cutting' issue, it has been said that Janis is not a fan of cutting poems taking pride of place on the front page, (or something similar)
    I believe that this is more of a warning about cutting rather than trying to encourage cutting. It ends on a sad note where the character has severely injured themselves. So for that reason I am giving it my 7 points and a comment.
    What struck me with this is how tight it is, stanza 1 is four lines long but only 8 words. Yet it feels fuller. There is real dark imagery in the first few stanzas and I love the flow. I have said it several times and seen it written as comments on here, but this poem is like the skeleton of a bigger poem, all the fat has been cut away leaving just the bones of the poem. Great write and an important message.

  • 11 years ago

    by Rusheena

    This reminds me of a poem that I wrote years ago called "Due Date." It's about a girl who attempts to commit suicide, but she realizes too late that she actually wants to live. I agree with Darren. I think this is more of a warning, even if that wasn't your intention, and it's very refreshing to see that on this site.

    I love the rhyme scheme and how terse the rhythm is; it pulls you along and makes the poem a faster read. And judging by the subject matter, I couldn't wait to see how this would end. Speaking of the ending, that was a very nice twist, and I like that you didn't end it on a happy note. I think that makes it more real because this scenario actually happens, and it drives home the point that there are no second chances, once you've gone too far. Great job.

    Nominated :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This builds so well to a shocking crescendo. Again, another topic many can relate to and , again, really well written. Love the end.