Comments : Diary of a Dead Girl

  • 11 years ago

    by Saerelune

    Interesting, experimental write. Very nice that your first stanza wasn't Loop Poetry, but still repeated the word "one" so effectively. A little bit tempted to read "the one" again instead of "the girl", but I'm not sure, maybe that would be too much.

    I liked how each stanza ended with a word, and then "just like me". Kind of sounds like an echo to me, or just a last word paired with a sigh, a ghost's echo perhaps. To me this write is really raw, perhaps written in desperation and helplessness. It really fits the persona.

    Nice format and title, a little bit unsure about the "P.S.", since it seems a little bit out of tune with the rest of the poem, but then again, all P.S.'es seem to be. Perhaps it just feels like the dead girl has a whole different attitude/tone there? I was thinking about changing it to something in the air of the first stanza:

    "Me X

    the one who once lived in a world
    which didn't understand nor cared enough to find out."
    ^ But wasn't satisfied with it, though I'm posting this anyway just to let you play around with it lol.

    Clever write.

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I've always loved diary entry poems, I have a couple myself and this one is beyond words! Ah, I love it so much.

    The repetition of the ending word and the beginning is AWESOME. I've never seen that before, so I'm unsure if there is a certain word it's called or form? Also love the "just like me." at the end of each stanza. It really adds so much depth to the poem.

    So, from what I'm interpreting out of this poem maybe the girl committed suicide? from being so unhappy and being 'forgotten' ...I'm probably wrong, I almost always am...but that's what I love about poetry, it can have all kinds of hidden meanings and different interpretations. Also with the P.S. part... I get the feeling of she committed suicide because "once lived in a world" ...so maybe she is in another world, afterlife?

    Adding this poem to my favorites! <3