Line one is very catchy, crawling into somebodies thoughts....very clever.

just a few things, the rhyming scheme works well apart from stannza 2 line 2, it stands out compaired to the rest of the poem which works well. I even like how all four lines rhyme in stanza 1 yet you move onto aa bb with the rest of the poem (apart from 4 when you use abba)

(should stanza 5 line 1 read 'be' rather than 'me')

overall nice poem with a good message.

Do you mean, "Don't let there be hope, let it be real."
Instead of, "Don't let me hope, let it be real"?
If so, I do think I like that better.

Thanks for the encouragement! This is the first poem I have ever submitted. :)

Anyone have any more advice or critique on this poem? It's interesting to here what people think and it helps me become a better writer! :)

Wow, this is intense, so powerful with emotion, I loved it, I find the way you opened it up into the beginning was very well done, two thumbs up

Wow, this is intense, so powerful with emotion, I loved it, I find the way you opened it up into the beginning was very well done, two thumbs up

I loved this poem..perfect..
And abt d advice, jus do as darren said..