Comments : Oblivion

  • 10 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Once again you draw inspiration from the smallest of things. I love it. So inquisitve I see.. there is indeed something about a warm spring day that makes one feels at ease, so carefree. What a question to ask though.. our life could be over anyday.. I'd rather die at peace more than anything. Lovely piece :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I just...I'm totally speechless at this.

    I'm going to come back soon with some rational thoughts..but holy crap..just..wow!

  • 10 years ago

    by Piogga

    Very interesting piece. I love how you opened it up. Got me thinking immediately of a room full of young people, perhaps the teacher wasn't around. I'm assuming this classmate is quite shy that's why everyone's surprised. It wasn't mentioned that they were surprised but the tone's seeping with it. I'm sure a lot of us would rather die on a good day, peacefully and maybe quickly. Maybe in a deep sleep? Than on a really bad day.
    It's such an odd thing to ask, and I grew up in a religious family, so I've been taught that it is God who gave us our lives therefore it is He who should take it away.
    The fifth stanza spoke up to me. I have days like that as well: having too much in my mind, wanting to write it all down but there's nothing coming out (or maybe you're not just satisfied with what is). Usually it happens with things like these; peculiar and unexpected circumstances.
    It's so true how people think about death maybe more often than they do think about life. I think everyone, in some point of our lives, have thought about death. It is something so mysterious (as is life).
    I love the wheel metaphor. Wheels are often used as metaphors for life, but us - people - I've never read anything like that! I find it unique and creative. The use of unearth, I find very interesting. In death, we are buried. Perhaps we shall know the truth then. It also brings up a mundane image, and it works really well.
    Great poem, overall. The title fits perfectly aswell.

  • 10 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Damn. Maryanne.....I have asked you once and I will ask you again...please share with me this way of writing!!!? lol....

    I have to say...I got a lot out of your question....It can almost be creepy...like youre literally asking, if you planned your own death, what would be the scene you pick for it? Weather, place, time, etc...which eekk creeps me out to think of it...

    Or...the other thing I got out of this questions was, would you be happy with your life if you died today? Me, being a religous person, I have to question this a lot...if Jesus returns tomorrow, will he take me? Will I be ready? How am I living my life? Well enough that I'd be ready??

    Funny how one question can make us ponder so much...

    I always love your details in your poems. Your poems contain stories and I use to write story poems all the time, but they rhymed. I cant seem to do that anymore now that I write free verse. Which is why I love coming here and reading yours.

    Well done beautiful.

  • 10 years ago

    by TSI25

    Its interesting i nthat its directly thought provoking. the ending is made powerful by your very direct question that bears a great deal of weight; is today a good day to die?

    and i think theres a lot of underlying impact too, sometimes people say stupid things without realizing how it might effect the people around them, and are totally oblivious (no pun intended) to it.

    definitely an interesting read.

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I love how you added the note at the bottom about where it was written. I write at work all the time, just something I hear or a thought I have can start of all manners of poetry.

    Okay, to the poem, and what a poem it is. It's a question that gets you thinking, it's a scary thought, death. I've had these thoughts, acted on the harsher ones and not questioned whether it was a good day...but now where I am at this minute, the questions turns itself around.

    I read this when you posted it and I've been meaning to comment, I just found it too raw

    MaryAnne, you always have a way of writing that doesn't just get me thinking, you actually keep me thinking. I know I'll be thinking of this all night now...but that's what I love about you....you just make me really think.

    Poetry at its best.

    xxx

  • 10 years ago

    by onethuscome

    On my best day i can suffer almost any loss and all things redound to my benefit......today is not one of them.ha ha.no,seriously...i appreciate the "ambivalence"of your manner to the matter.it is a position,nonetheless,in the"guise"of objectivity".still,i paused and thought because of your poem.so for that...i thank u

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Ahhhhh. I knew there was a poem I was meant to comment on, and couldn't remember which one it was. I just found it now while I was stalking your poems!

    Okay, so what can I say that hasn't already been said? This is amazing. I love this. I love the opening, it's so original and I like how you mention 70 degrees of no stress. For most people, of course beautiful weather calms and relaxes them so I found how you mention she says it's a good day to die to create somewhat of a paradox here, which is of course good for me, as it means I now have conflicting thoughts and emotions and the poem is already beginning to make me think.

    "sneaking my ears around the
    metal chairs like a serpent."

    Love this. It makes me think that you are privy to a conversation/counselling session that you shouldn't be a part of, hence "sneaking." and the use of "serpent" fits perfectly with that because of how they are usually referenced as sly, cunning etc.

    "So, let me ask you.
    Please hold nothing back in your response.
    I promise this will be kept confidential..."

    Ohhhhhhhh I love, love, LOVE this! I adore how you begin with talking about this conversation and then move to questioning your reader directly, and mentioning how it will be kept confidential really adds to the overall effect of the poem, because as we all know in a counselling/pshyc session, everything is always kept confidential. It really drives the point home.

    Your last line..what can I say about this? beautiful, amazing, thought provoking. A closing that hits with such impact!

    I just love this.

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    "I am always amazed at what this author manages to create within her work and how she constantly seems to find inspiration in the smallest things in her life and yet again I find myself completely blown away at this marvelous piece. It's a poem that is filled with so many thought provoking questions, because even as we all live our lifes, don't we all ponder about death more than we do about life? Certainly, much more than we should do. I enjoyed the sudden transition from talking about the classmate, to talking directly to the reader, it certainly gave the poem more feeling. Excellent question at the end, something that allows the reader to really ponder on the meaning of life and such a stark and unexpected end to the poem. Amazing work as always from this author, of which I've come to expect no less."