You in the Greatness

[Judging comment from week of 4/15/13]:

This was an intriguing piece and made me think of personality types, how the author is writing to almost an ambiguous figure that you are now revealing in observations. Little things that may be normally hidden or unknown about this person, how they often aren't concerned too much with others but have that capacity to love fully and deeply one chosen person. I really connected with the "star gazing" reference as I am now wondering what people think about when doing that activity, do they wish? Do they feel relaxed? I almost get the feeling this person is almost relieved they feel something or see something that isn't everlasting, these people know stars are dying and somehow it makes suffering okay, or makes it more easy to accept. I don't really know.... it also made me think maybe this person enjoys seeing others destruction? Because that silence and quietness of people avoiding issues is gone.... there is a break in gravity this person can sense.

I adored how you gave these "scenes", in the office, the movement of the ocean, and the train ride home. Is it a comfort zone thing? Knowing you can feel people around you, not just move but watching them around you making sound, vibrations, stirrings....maybe it makes you feel like you are contributing, you are one string being played that can make changes.

Such an interesting piece, it really is like nothing I've read before, I feel I've seen into the eyes of this person for a minute and I'm left to make a decision about them. Great read!

I owe you a longer comment than this, but for now I just want to thank you for posting this beautiful piece of art and to let you know that you've got limitless talent at your fingertips.

Nice to read something new from you again, and such a beauty too. At first I had to get a little bit used to the many "you's" at the beginning. Not because I consider them as fillers, but moreso because they felt very present in this piece. While reading I felt my focus shifting to this "you" all the time. I thought it was interesting because this person seems to be small/insignificant compared to the greatness of the world, but the way you kept saying "you" instead of trying to take out that "filler" as most people would like to, really made this person more important. As if it's solely this person that does all the things you described, as if it's something personal and unique.

Second thing I liked about this piece is its play on light. In the first stanza the person you're speaking of becomes a silhouette, since the light shines behind them. In the third stanza this person still remains an outsider to light, as he/she gazes at the stars, although they, too, are fading. In the fourth stanza he/she's suddenly a part of the light, an unique and modern light: the computer screen's light. Suddenly it's not this person being the black shape, but his/her background. I'm not sure if it was your intention to focus so much on light. It reminded me of chiaroscuro.

And I thought it was nice to see someone use the word "symbiosis" in poetry. It kind of emphasizes the relation between the writer and the person you're writing about. You're being very observant, like a biologist.

At first I wasn't so keen about the ending lines, not really sure what they meant, and it was quite a funny image. Then I realised that in the train it tends to rock to and fro, and that not only this person must be affected by it, but everyone else around him/her too. Makes me think you're allowing him/her to melt with the crowd again, telling us again that he/she is "just" a part of something much greater.

It's a very gentle write, you've got some sort of soothing voice. Truly deserving of its win. Well done!

Wow. This is a well-deserved win. Fantastic write. Beautiful images, very deep words.

Congrats!

This poem is your greatness as a poet. Congrats!