Congrats for the win!! This piece is OUTSTANDING!!!!
5 years ago
What I love the most about this poem is how the poet created a character.. writing about the creation of someONE, and not someTHING is really unique and creative to see. I love the title, so "antique" with todays technology. I really adored the structure of the poem as well, I thought it was brief, descriptive and very... different from what we see. Line usage was wonderful. I love that ending that takes us to a twist that while he's already created her and she may actually be a real person, he can no longer figure out the difference of reality and the writing. Such a creative idea!
This poem has such purpose and I feel the author's potency in diction through every line, everything seems so sure like these thoughts flow forth. I liked the clever lines that make this relationship seem indescribable, how it seems to be understood only between him and her who are absorbed in one another. This is such a fascinating line:
"He wants her to be silent when she speaks,
yet loud when she's quiet."
- I loved the profoundness of this! It's a moment of guidance, like he wants her to be able to be heard in the times where she says nothing yet be admired for when she speaks.
Then, when the author goes on to speak of how he is creating another character, I feel like I am reading an archaic verse that hints at this existence, this subtlety between the lines that is reflected through his own life. Those ending lines struck me and were very unique. Sometimes one hears about how authors can get so taken in the world they have created, up to the point where they perceive their own life as a fantasy. Now, this author is wondering if this girl/woman has somehow impacted him in his past or if she is just an illusory thought. Wonderful work!