Comments : Tango

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Mel, this was breathtaking! I have missed your poetry and have read your other recent one but haven't left a comment yet... I hope you are doing well :] I am going to nominate this first thing when I get up on Monday!

    These words were so so spirited. I read it aloud softly to myself because I feel the tone in which you wrote needs that, there is sensuality and intrigue and the ease of this dance and love. I fell in love with the gentleness of the opening line, how pure it is, and the "I give myself to you"- it reminded me heart, soul, and body all are shared with this love. Simply by reading his language, hearing it and understanding it, it is a timeless gift you two intimately share.

    "The first time I heard you
    my flesh was crocheted with your language
    and it hasn't left my body since."

    - The sureness of these lines and the passion emitted is amazing!!! There is definitely a fire of love here, and as later you say, not lust. For you have learned how to dance the tango with much more- love itself.

    Loved loved loved reading this Mel, going in on my favorites! This read fantastic, it flowed down and had that spark to each stanza! Take care :]

  • 10 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I feel my muscles detach from my spine.
    I give myself to you, arched like the bridge
    their love have married on,
    fingers bare and
    worn

    like the bridge I wished to marry you on.
    ^I feel this part to be incredibly romantic! Never have I had someone write something for me, but often I wonder what a lovely feeling that is! This is so beautiful though I loved you metaphor you used and it could not work more perfectly here. Makes me think of how in Italy and such that couples kiss beneath bridges. You really took me to that moment here.

    'flesh was crocheted with your language'
    ^Loved the usage of crocheted here, definitely something new and creative! I can only imagine that the words they've written are ones you'll never forget. Crocheted is a lovely word, just makes his words seem all that more intimate and truly full of love.

    The ballroom metaphor and such, ugh. You have the most jaw-dropping amazing metaphors that I wish I could think of myself. You have quite an amazing ability to come up with these. Just gorgeous!

    One of my favorites from you that I've ever read. This is one of the most beautiful poems ever. Well done! I am so glad you are writing more.

  • 10 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Melissa, you're not allowed to kill me like this

    what is all this puurring in spanish I don't know about? and what ever happen to greece?

    I've been working so hard lately, but I want you to know that in my little free time the first thing I do is check out if you have posted something new.

    melissa, your writing has changed so much.
    you're such an open book now. I love it. i love it. just such a bluntly honest writer
    who exchanged her hardcore masked metaphorical pieces for complete and absolute truth.

    when I read the stanza about thoughts deserving their own ballroom

    waw man, I fell "my body sigh like a flower opening up to the sun"

    you are so bloody amazing,
    you write with so much beauty I have no idea where it comes from

    this piece is like another ""Paris"" for me,
    I feel like quoting it every second of the day, i just keep gushing about your writing endlessly on twitter.

    keeep up the good job babe,
    I know I'm not around often
    but you're always in my mind and I have tons of comments to leave for you.

    I miss you and i love you always.

  • 10 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    *Sigh*

    "When you write

    I feel my muscles detach from my spine.
    I give myself to you, arched like the bridge
    their love have married on,
    fingers bare and
    worn

    like the bridge I wished to marry you on. "

    -I've had poetry written for me before, and it absolutely feels like this. It makes you completely melt.

    This stanza reminds me of couples in Paris or Italy, being all lovey-dovey on/under a bridge. It's just pure romance, enough said.

    I adore the use of crocheted here!! You don't see it often in poetry, and when you do... it's absolutely some kind of masterpiece. The first time hearing their voice, it was something new and refreshing and it completely made you fall in love with it... it attached to you, the accent/language... and it's something that will always be apart of you now.

    The rejection of the purr of Spanish is amazing. I've noticed some people who speak Spanish have the purr and some don't... most think that the purr is sexy... but yet, you think the lack of it is.

    "but your thoughts deserved their own ballroom,"

    -When I think of a ballroom, I automatically think of elegance and class, so I'm assuming that's what you meant their thoughts were.

    I love the notepad on the neck line; ahhh, love it. Ever since you have met them, they have been your muse.

    The ending is brilliant! When people think of tango, they automatically think of spicy and lustful dancing.. but for you, it's the opposite, it's love... elegant to tie in with the ballroom.
    LOVELOVELOVE. I can't say that enough lol.

    Added to my favorites! <3

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Congratulations on the win Mel! Such a gorgeous piece & so well-deserved; was a pleasure to read this and missing you and your poetry :]

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    I am so happy to see this poem win! It was definitely deserving, a truly beautiful piece. You know how I get with your poetry, a bit rambly, so be prepared lol.

    I love the first set/stanza and how you repeated yourself.

    "arched like the bridge
    their love have married on, "

    I feel here you weren't talking about marriage itself, but more of a sensual thing. Perhaps their first .. ahem, lovely encounter with one another? Arched like the bridge immediately made me think of an arched back, arched in passion, arched in the needy way you have to pull and cling yourself to him.

    Then you repeat it with the act of committment, where before it was the lust. You open it up for your closing right here.. you wished to marry him on this bridge, but instead you realize it was more of a sexual-driven romance. Come on, I'm right, aren't I? You know I love when I'm right about your poetry, lmao.

    "The first time I heard you
    my flesh was crocheted with your language
    and it hasn't left my body since. "

    I adore the use of crocheted here, of course you find a way to incorporate creation into your poem. Like this man, stark, beautiful with the kind of voice you can't and won't forget. Perhaps it wasn't just his voice, but the promise he made to you (broken promises) that you hold onto and feel like you now cling to, because it felt so good and you won't let yourself forget.

    "Your tongue rejected the purr of Spanish
    but your thoughts deserved their own ballroom,
    hands sweeping the small of my back;
    you moved like rhythm was easy."

    I went to a very bad place here that I can't write on PnQ, so remind me on whatsapp, lol. I'm confused by your meaning of the purr of Spanish, but still thought it was a beautiful line. Thoughts deserving a ballroom is beautiful, like the intention was pure and beautiful. The last line here proves the skill in which he pulled you in.

    "The last time I saw you,
    your neck was a notepad for my poetry

    our skin small scripted in the speech
    of our grandfathers, our mothers and
    the words of lovers who knew"

    These two pieces go together, but I love how you separated them. His neck the notepad... makes me think of something strong and beautiful, yet soft and safe feeling. You kiss necks, so there is a sensual aspect, but it also holds your head high, so the strength portion works well there, too. It's also a crook where you can rest, so comfort and a safety zone is clear here as well. You open yourself up in your poetry like you don't anywhere else, so thats what makes me feel like the safe-zone is your intention. You can let your secrets out in poetry because it's scripted and your own, and often masked.. and perhaps this man can hold your secrets because he understands you in a way no one else can.

    The second set here is lovely, you always add your background and culture. Makes me think of here you have very different cultures/backgrounds/ideas of what it takes to make it work. While one of you wanted love, the other was wrapped in lust.. perhaps because of the influences in your life and families.

    "the words of lovers who knew

    how to tango in lust,
    not love. "

    And your ending. Whoa, your ending. Lovers know how to tango. Tango is a love-driven dance. So to bring it about that they knew how to tango in lust, NOT love, proves to me that you were blindsided. You thought it was love, not lust. Tangos are built around love, so its like the rug was taken from under you.

    I really feel like I understood this poem. lol. I don't know if you're stripping it down and becoming more "raw" or if we're just so close that I can really connect to you in a different way now. Either way I love that I can finally delve into your poetry and FEEL the beauty, not just READ the beauty, you know what I mean?

    This is gorgeous. As always.

    Edit -- HAHA. I just read through all the comments and I'm the only one who sees this as a sad poem and not a romantic piece. Woops. lol

  • 10 years ago

    by Karla

    Woonderful poem Mel!

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    ""your neck was a notepad for my poetry "

    I LOVE this. I just keep coming back to this specific line, and I'm struck speechless every-time I read it. Simply, amazing. In fact, I just keep reading this whole poem over and I just come to love it more each time I do. The pictures the author creates are beautiful, the emotions are easily felt and the way the author describes each moment is just stunning. Powerful, impacting, hard hitting, relate-able, and poetry at it's finest."

    :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    Judge comment

    I've read this poem probably a hundred times this week, entraced by every single word. The theme is really beautiful here, as is Mel's imagery and thought process. Her poem is so incredible detailed and descriptive.. my gosh it's just gorgeous. The part about the bridge she wishes to marry on... oh my word. I absolutely love how Melpomene also repeated herself within that stanza.. and it had such a serious emphasis. Going down into the last half of the poem is very typical of her style, writing on flesh and bringing generations into her poems. I love that no matter the challenge thrown at her, she consistently remains true to herself and doesn't waver from that, which is evident here. The ending and the way it wrapped up was so breathtaking. I can't get enough of this poem.

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Judging comment from week of 5/20/13]:

    I can hardly say more than I was left speechless after reading your poem, Mel. I do feel like you express such truth, and you are willingly letting the reader grab onto that. I believe this poem is one to be read aloud! It flows brilliantly, has sensuality, and is such a unique tie between you and this love... especially when you describe how you give everything to them, and how you almost mold into their body/skin. It's such an intimate concept and it did make me think you both are not just two souls, but one, moving together.

    "The first time I heard you
    my flesh was crocheted with your language
    and it hasn't left my body since."

    - - One of my favorite lines! This was such a blunt-I'm-bursting-to-let-you-know stanza, almost like you have completely embraced this change in your life, for the better. That this person affected you THIS much, and you are letting them have your heart and every move.

    I was not expected the "your tongue rejected the purr of Spanish" line, it was so creative and my jaw almost dropped! Love how you incorporated the language into that, and this person is definitely their own - you have your own language with them.

    I honestly feel individual lines could be quoted in poetry books, and your meaning would never be lost. There is such a fullness in this line/metaphor:

    "your neck was a notepad for my poetry"

    - Just the openness of that statement! And the possibility this person has in creating art with you, a whole new life filled with looking ahead in love.

    I really like the point in you made in the end and how you expressed it with the tango.... I think too often we coin things in our minds with, oh that must have been lustful, that was not true love... because how often do we see examples of love in its purest? Without all the wanting. This shows love, shows intimacy but mainly unity in such an exquisite way.

    Gorgeous!