Comments : They That Tango [Prose]

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I liked how you set the atmosphere with the opening. I felt night was an act that is now open to all the public, not just people working or beggars on the street, this is a time for dancing and for letting go.

    My favorite part that stood out the most for me was when you mentioned suspenders! That was awesome! I actually have a teacher this semester who is known for wearing them everyday and they kind of look snazzy, so I liked the quirkiness of that image, not your typical type of dress. Very odd yet striking image w/ the stilettos too, I like how you gave details, not just one but many...

    Great how you mentioned neon lights and in the last stanza set this poem ablaze with those images of lights constantly burning on for hours and hours....the simile was very unique, dancing like a savage tribe!

    Definitely shows the wildness of this character, and how everyone is feeling as they have nothing to lose, not conforming to society in a way and choosing not to be tamed.

    Loved this interpretation of a tango & I enjoyed the prose! It was a scene I could envision watching, and it makes me think now you classified yourself and the others as specific types of people- tango-ers or something lol!
    Neat write :]

  • 10 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I don't think I have ever read prose from you so this was different for me, but I grew to really love it. The night is indeed such a romantic time of day, I picture the narrow streets in foreign countries and the orange lights lighting the way. Sounds like the ultimate romantic evening to be walking down one with the one you love.

    Your choice of words was interesting, some puzzled me for a second because I couldn't quite remember the meaning. Pheromone, never heard of before though. It seemed a little wordy but I can understand that you didn't want to use something overused. It's original and actually is quite poetic.

    I loved how the neon lights and romance is connected. It makes so much sense, the passion being blazing and such. I then loved how you gave us such wonderful images which also connected like the bonfire especially. Their love lives through the morning kind of like until embers burn out was just perfect perfect perfect!

    There is so much beauty in this poem. You did a great job as portraying the woman briefly in a seductive way, with her stilettos and mini dress. The narrow street in my mind makes me think intimate and just for the two of them. The lights and such give warmth and passion alive through the entire night.

    Gorgeous piece :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Vic Johns

    Can almost smell & feel that alluring picture you so eloquently describe....Powerful poem indeed!

    Brilliant!

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    This poem really reminded me of like.. New Orleans during Mardi-Gras. I LOVED that idea, and I don't know if you meant to pull something like that into the poem, but I really felt it here.. the first stanza led me to that feeling.. and into the second stanza as well.

    I like how you don't get to the dancing until the third stanza, you set the scene in a folksy-old town way. Then you got to the sensual ending where you wowed us with more descriptive nature... like you truly danced the night away until you physically couldn't move another bone in your body.

    I'm really interested in the structure/prose way you wrote this. It's not typical from you so thats why I like the difference here.. very unique to you and a unique idea with how you spun it.

    Love, love, love. I like the title, too. It's fun and eye-catchy.

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Love the opening here as it really sets the scene. It reminds me of a city that was once bursting with so much postive energy only to be taken over by the people that don't care about where they live, that don't care if the city slowly becomes unsavoury as long as they themselves are okay, which is all too common in the world. Second verse instantly makes me think of someone using prostitution as a way to earn money, I don't think the author actually intended this? But that's what my mind immediately goes to when reading these lines. The closing lines remind me of a relationship that is on its last legs."

    :)