Happy

I know
The roads to your houses like
The back of my hand.
And I know
The way to your heart is through
Chocolate cake,
And sushi dates,
And learning how to ski to make you happy.
Like you've made me happy.

I know
You don't talk a lot,
You're unemotional.
And I know
That you're so confused -
I am too,
But I know we can be
Happy again together you and me.
When we were happy
With all the chocolate cake and sushi dates
And pictures of puppies,
Golden and fluffy
And happy.

Tickle fights,
Up late nights
Texting about everything
And nothing.
Car rides to hospital
Parking lots
And soccer fields,
And bedrooms,
Leather couches.
I know that where your mouth belongs is
On my own.
Where you taste of chocolate cake and sushi dates
And spending hours curled up in your arms.
Lots of firsts and lots of laughs -
Oh the memories they hurt when they pass -
Of when we were happy.

I'm not happy.
I miss you in a thousand ways.
I've died and cried for days and days.
Home is not the same
When I'm no longer the name on your phone.
I'm alone.
Because you made me happy.
More than you hurt me, you made me
Happy.

I know
You think you've done too wrong,
And strung me along.
And I know
That you still love me,
Wish I could make you see that we could
Be happy.
I can't be happy
Without chocolate cake
And sushi dates
And loving you,
You loving me,
I've forgotten how it feels to be happy.

What I wouldn't do to bring you back to me.
When we were happy.
We could be
Happy.
Oh I hope you're
Happy.
Happy?