I've read this twice so far and I love the very truthful way you write... your thoughts come alive and go through such emotion and realization as you grow to realize that this love was never pure, only there to possibly ensnare you and occupy your time. I adore the metaphor of Amsterdam! I know other poets have written about other countries which I think is beautiful to incorporate, but I don't know much about this one as I've never been....the appeal/ intrigue you give here definitely reminds me of a lively city with spirited people and backgrounds... I think as an outsider, this would be inviting, and it'd be too easy to let go and in a way, give up any armor you have around yourself.

"but Amsterdam you hypnotized me:
your daisy lips,
canal street eyes,
windmill hips;
I fell in love."

- These lines are so poetic and refreshing! They absolutely speak profoundly about the little things that make you fall in love.

A few suggestions, only in my opinion though:

"I reached the heavens and procured me a star,"

- Love your image and word choice in giving more expression as to how you fell in love then were let down and left empty....I would delete the "me" though, as you are already stating "I" and then the verb "procured". There is no need for the "me".

"such feeble a man is not meant to have them
as I once had you, Amsterdam..."

- Maybe read this again? To me, it seemed rushed and like a word was missing. It was worded a bit awkwardly...should it be "such a feeble man is not meant to have them...." It just stumped me for a second.

I liked the ending lines, how you repeated that statement, now knowing and having to live presently with this curse you once believed to be a blessing... almost like it was an enchantment but now you can't take your mind off it, and it's keeping you from living your own life. Also, reading it again, makes me think this city/woman has shown signs of selfishness, and while they have given back beauty, they haven't filled you- they also give momentary satisfaction.

Beautifully and simply written, not too much adjectives or descriptions, just you and your heart. Really glad I came across this and thank you for sharing... I don't think I've ever read your work before but the miscellaneous section is my favorite to read and comment when I get the chance! :]

Congrats on the win, Aaron! Really well-deserved!

You bknow what...I absolutely love this poem and wish I had see it before it hit the front page for I surely would have nominated it. Not sure if you are actually using Amsterdam as a metaphor for a lost love or..whether you just miss Amsterdam..either way you have shown your love with such a rawness that ...I still love!

So may lines stand out to me that I cannot pick a favourite...there is so much going on here....much like Amsterdam itself that I just want to sit at one of the side cafes (you describe) and read this once more haha!!

You became disenchanted in the end sadly but you still have your memories right?

Slight critique and...it made me wonder if you were from Oz because this is a typo I've come across with many from this part of the world..

Any other time I would of been the wiser

It should be...I would have been the wiser

Really loved your poem...congrats on the win...much deserved!

I like how you have used a country after a woman. This read can be taken in two ways and the description of a beautiful place paints also a picture of a woman and how the heart pines for that person/place. I like this whole piece from start to finish...congrats on the win :)

Judging comments:

The first I've read from this poet and I was pleasantly surprised. The first stanza specifically is beautiful and SO full of images it just tickles the senses. The third stanza struck me the most and was my favorite poetically. I see bits and pieces that I would personally fix, but I will do those privately. I like the ending how it's repeated earlier... brought that feeling home. Very nice piece!!

Judging comment:

"I read this several times and each time I did so I found myself even more awed than previously. The depth in this poem is something I haven't seen/felt for a long time when reading poetry and I just love how the author pulled all of this together. It's unique, it's moving, and brimming with imagery from start to finish. I don't believe I've had the pleasure of reading this author before now but if this poem is anything to go by I can see them quickly becoming a favourite as I think this is one poet to watch out for. My only complaint is the repetition of dreams here: "You seemed to be the girl of my dreams,
now you only haunt my dreams." and then once more as the closing lines, I felt it was used too many times."

[Judging comment from week of 6/10/13]:

I've never been to Amsterdam before or seen any pictures of this country, but you bring such spirit and images to the eyes! It's quite wonderful.

"Any other time I would of been the wiser
but Amsterdam you hypnotized me:
your daisy lips,
canal street eyes,
windmill hips;
I fell in love."

- I liked the "young" touch of this, like you could not control yourself and before anyone could stop you, you were just caught by this glorious sight.
Great, unique visuals!

"As time has a tendency to pass, it did
and with it I realized the daisy fields behind the cottages
were a facade."

- There is such a character maturation here, realizing beauty can have the ability to distract and make us give our strength away and take away our barriers, morals, values....

"but a man can only give so much
when next to nothing is given in return."

- Such a true, humanistic line. I loved this and it speaks volumes.

I also liked the repetition of "girl of my dreams", how this country embodies the fullness of the woman and the way she entered your life so surely. The ending definitely made me feel as if you saw this relationship as a glorious gift, but now it is turning into something more darker, more selfish, not what you wanted to get into at all from the beginning.

There were a few grammar errors I saw where a few of the structure of the lines had a word or two missing to grant flow but otherwise, neat write with a creative metaphor of Amsterdam! Keep writing.

Judge Comment:

I've read this several times and each time I take new angles with it... The depth of this love poem is intense, beyond intensity at it's finest.

Aaron has taken this angle and message to new heights, of a love for the heart and deception of life's hardships...

To be in love with someone who can't commit for any reason is heartbreaking. The wording and flow of this piece is outstanding. Beautiful and touching poem.

The subtle rhythm and soft rhyme hidden within this piece makes it unique... I love the repetition of Amsterdam, for its used as her name in response to maybe where she lived or resided at the time. This is what I love most about this poem, is that it takes you on a journey to want to know more about the woman in this piece. Truly adore this!!