Comments : Not For Keeps

  • 4 years ago

    by AnnaCaprice

    You write beautifully. Well done.

    • 4 years ago

      by Abed

      Thank you=]

  • 4 years ago

    by Britt

    I am so sad I didn't read this when you first posted it... I would have nominated it immediately!

    I have one suggestion:

    I'm sorry I couldn't be the runway
    your flat tires need.

    Instead of "need", I would have "needed". You had past tense in the rest of the stanza so having present tense tripped it up a little bit.

    Otherwise, this poem is truly beautiful. So vulnerable and sad. I really love everything about this.. I feel strongly connected, perhaps because I have been with a man like this that I just wanted him so badly to admit that he wasn't the man for me, and let me go. I'm putting this one in my favorites for sure!

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    So beautiful and a bit tragic. I really don't have a lot of words for this because you took my breath away. There is such a tired tone in this, restless maybe because you are pleading to move ahead, not cling on anymore to what could not have been.

    Love the phrases of saying you couldn't be the runaway... that made me think the companion, the savior, to when this person's life was in distress.... and then telling this person to run away in the opposite direction of you, knowing there is someone else who will perhaps be able to care for this person in a more committed or reciprocal way? Tons of sadness here, the whole atmosphere is it and I like how your story is a bit ambiguous, hidden. It makes me wonder if you are hopeless because of something in the past or if you believe you are incapable of becoming that stability (whether the soberness was a metaphor or literal)

    Beautifully expressed. Take care!