Comments : Ive Fallen

  • 10 years ago

    by Tim

    So deep angel! *hugs* follow the light sweetie. You can do it.

    And keep wroting your style is amazing! X

  • 10 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    I love this poem a lot kiley. The way you describe you falling like an angel into depression is great.

    The first stanza has so much going for it. The imagery is simple and well written. I can vision everything. The broken and black wings and the moon losing its light so to speak. The last line here is great because depression makes you tired which we both know from experience.

    Second- there is so much you need. Indeed I agree. So much help or happiness you want to find. The best linehere is the burning in your lungs and being hatd to breathe. When you feel like you are on fire its hard to do aanything. Great imagery again.

    Third- The eyes you describe so well for this poem. It feels like you are dead and inside it hurts so much and its hard to see your soul inside. Like you said the pain is terrible. The only flaw I see is the first too should be taken out in my opinion it doesnt flow well in the poem. Just my opinion.

    Ending- I love the strong ending here as it holds so much emotion. It feels like everyone is against you and they laugh hurting you more inside. Falling into depression as an angel is wonderful! Overall I loved it so much. Great write. 5