It's been a long time since I visited your poems Andrea and that is simply because I only comment if the member is signed in at the same time as me and..you have been lean on the scene these days?
Seconds tick, tock
in catacombs of nerve
twitches, aching my
heart for news of
This sounds very oldy worldy to me and..I think this is your approach but..I think..if you put the word is after aching it would sound better?
but nothing mates with silence,
Brilliant line...love it!
sitting here in restlessness
I wake the sun for messages
something missing here I think? I just didn't get this part and maybe you should consider rephrasing it?
that goddesses hold sacred.
It's a lovely write any obviously it came from your heart...I wish I had time to talk to you more but...going overseas for a bit...will try to give you more input but...it just caught my attention for now...
Congrats on the win.Silence is the biggest gift to attain....
4 years ago
by Beautiful Soul
This poem is very stunning and beautiful. First of all the title I feel fits perfectly. You are waiting for " bad news" and waiting is always the hardest thing to do. So the first stanzas writing is beautiful. I can imagine your heart beating with the second of the clock. As time ticks down and the more you wait the more it hurts. I like the phrase "nerve twitches" as well. To me that is saying that every time you hear a sound that you nervously twitch or move because you are scared to hear any news.
I love the ending here as well. You pen your words well. Nothing mates with silence. That is very true. I think here maybe you have been waiting all night and no news has come and you remain silent all that time. restlessness is a nice touch here because throughout you give the feeling you are uncomfortable and now that you have to wait it makes you restless. The last two lines are amazing. It tells me the again you wake up with the sun and want to know what happens. Overall. You paint such a strong picture with such few words. Well done.
4 years ago
by Midnight Sky
Short but somtimes less is more good job my friend 5\5