Comments : Newsprint Roses

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Such a beautiful poem, this is such a piece that holds the sadness of death and the aftermath of losing that person that's been with you through the trials and tribulations of life.

    I was immediately drawn in by the title, and wasn't disappointed at all...the way you described this lady, made me think of someone who had lived there whole life for her husband. I was thrown when you described the home as his home, and not their home but then I got thinking that maybe he was a garden man and loved planting and pottering in a shed, and this is what is referred as his home...

    A very sad and real poem...and the ending, as to who will be there when she is gone...that was very powerful.

    x

  • 10 years ago

    by Amreen

    Very powerful piece Hannah. Your poems depict such profound thoughts and views. The sadness behind this piece is intruiging.

    Loved the title. Awesomely creative!

    Keep writing:)

  • 10 years ago

    by L

    Hannah, I like the vivid image that I got from this poem also with how you depicted this lady, you even used arthritic fingers and that at least to me that added an essential detail to the poem. I mean this lady creates the newsprint roses while her fingers ache but she still builds them for her love. I mean the idea that I got was that she gathers this newsprint pieces from the people who passed away, whom she knows ( perhaps friends) then she goes and creates a rose to place under her husband's stone? perhaps to inform him or rather for him to not be alone. May be she thinks that by placing them there, they will all be together?

    and the ending question, she may wonder what will happen when she joins her husband, who will tell them both ( or her) the news? more like who will visit her.

    I agree super creative.

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Agree with what everyone has said so far, this was incredibly unique and the idea of it has power and depth in its sadness. Right away, I could clearly envision this older woman, worn out by life but devoted to do this task. I think you created this charasmatic, beautiful woman who's little action reaches out to the readers... it reminds us about thinking of others, as I imagine the obituaries are people she knows or maybe doesn't know but would have liked to perhaps.... also makes me wonder if she is more accepting of death, thinking as long as she has a memorabilia, it will be alright, that small little newsprint rose will be enough. She seems very humble, like she lives simply, content to know she can at least have the spirit of her husband with her still by being able to visit his grave and see his name on the stone, to at least feel like he is somewhat there, that the world will be reminded of his legacy, even though she can't bring him back.

    Beautiful poem Hannah!!

  • 10 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    I love the vivid imagery you portray here indeed. This is very sad. I can imagine this women walking and struggling with the heart that is heavy inside of her soul. Her husband passed away for many years. She struggles with everyday life. I love the ending too as it leaves the question who will be there for here when she is passed away. It leaves the reader to think about who is her family and it makes the reader think do they really care or is she really alone? I love the little story you tell though. This lady is tired but yet she wants to live for her husband. In memorial. But when she finally passes away they will be together forever in eternity. I love the imagery and the love it holds. You can see the personality of the character as she is such a kind hearted person yet sad through her still beaming smile. :) 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Hellon

    Throughout the year
    she collects obituary
    snippings inside an
    old cigar box,

    ^^^

    This is a brilliant opening Hannah. You imediately have the reader drawn in to find out why. What a very sad image this gives.

    when it's full,
    her arthritic fingers fold
    and pencil twirl without
    complaint,
    creating a dozen
    (or two,
    it seems to rise
    more often than
    the sun nowadays)
    newsprint roses.
    ^^^
    I think it's important to use the word arthritic here, it lets the reader know that this lady is in great pain while making these roses and yet she does it quite gladly. I'm not sure about the part in brackets...I just feel it really wasn't necessary. I know you were trying to say that each time more of her friends have gone but....I just stumbled on this part a little.

    She strides unsteadily
    up to her husband's
    marble home,
    inviting their loved
    ones to stay inside
    a vase-shaped
    guest house.

    I love the use of vase-shaped guest house...how creative of you. These 'friends' are guests in the vase by the husbands grave. Just love the image you gave here!

    -

    As she dusts the crinkled
    leaves off her skirt and
    pantyhouse with a
    wad of tissue,
    she ponders...

    when the time comes
    for her to join her love
    inside their marble palace

    who will plant
    her newsprint rose?

    I can just imagine her wearily getting up and slowly walking back home with these sad thoughts.

    Really loved this one...it was very original...well done!

  • 10 years ago

    by Piogga

    Your creativity never fails to amaze me, Hannah. My favorite from you as of yet. I think pantyhose is spelled without a 'u'?
    I love the part enclosed in parenthesis. It gave the effect of prolonging and suspense before you mentioned newsprint roses. It was so well executed that I had to read that over and over. Loved the attention to detail, and how even the tiniest things such as this mannerism of twirling old newspaper could inspire you to create this beautiful piece. If I could suggest anything, it would be to make the final 'rose' plural. When I read it, the singular form seemed off. But it could may as well just be me.