I do love when I poem starts in this way...mid sentence and you're truly right in the moment with the author.
This is a simple verse Amreen but it just holds so much depth. It is the voice of love and encouragement as we hold our breath when a baby takes it's first wobbly steps...willing it to succeed, praising even if it falls the first few times. My grandaughter is just at this stage now and every piece of furniture has become a potential hazard right now. This one really touched my heart....very well done!
You truly captured such a magical image here, Amreen! That moment when your baby takes it's first steps... it brings so much happiness and love! You get to witness a miracle...something you created evolve from a small baby that needs help in every way, even lifting it's head up... to it crawling and walking on it's own. It's truly a beautiful moment and you captured the warmth and love inside this small piece.
This was amazing and i have nothing negative to say about it. the concepts and imagery held within are supremely artistic, to be taken as either metaphorically or allegorically, the content is both eloquent and elegant.
i like that theres no angst in this poem, and it is truly unique from the vast majority of poetry that can be found on this website. truly a piece of art, well done.
I liked this one. Short and sweet and it talked about such an eventful time in a mothers life. Her childs first steps.
5 years ago
by Vic Johns
Very touching & thoughtful, well put together.
5 years ago
This is a truly beautiful piece of writing. Here is just what I think.
The first thing I noticed like everyone else is the imagery. It truly is beautiful. The first lines might mean when he took his first steps into love. Love is a very difficult thing to step into. I love the word mirth used here as when she sees him her eyes and heart fill with great joy or bliss. The barren planet I like as well because you show I think how new love is to both of them. I love the space feel. :)
You show the space as a whole. He is too new to love so she is the one who holds him close. The embrace isthe most loving thing. You show how much love they both have to give. The last line is perfect because she wants to give him her whole life. I love the build up you bring the reader is not sure what will happen and then the ending comes and the love story has a happily ever after. 5/5