Everywhere and Nowhere

by Saerelune   Sep 20, 2013


On the first day of university, freshmen scatter about
like disoriented ants in search of syrup, and end up cluttered
behind vending machines, syrup waffle and tea, a barrier
of steam between two strangers; see-through and splashy.

Then we're compiled in lists, and bucketlists roll out of our mouths
as if we're printing machines, ready to spit out curricula vitae
and age and etceteras until ink runs dry and we're left
with an empty A4-sized paper, having no inkling or whatsoever
as to why so many words were spilt on such a paper-thin moment.

We'll be building ant hills. Somehow relating the need to be tribal
with machinery - bleached smiles as automated as a handshake
and there'll be no art in pretending, a freshman's profession,
and that's what we'll be taught through lectures and speeches
and books that end up between weeks-old pizza and beer and

everything. Everything will be a display of ands and ends,
loose ends tied in ribbons or knots or more, more embellishment.

We'll be displayed and spread until we're everywhere and nowhere,
like ants that scurry too fast to identify their differences.

20-09-2013
10:52 PM

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  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow.

    On the first day of university, freshmen scatter about
    like disoriented ants in search of syrup, and end up cluttered
    behind vending machines, syrup waffle and tea, a barrier
    of steam between two strangers; see-through and splashy.

    - straight away I can see your wording is very descriptive here, very eye catching and holds the readers attention very well. I like the scene here of these new students in such a busy and intimidating place, to compare them to ants which are so so small, was very well done. Lost and tiny in the world that seems to big to handle.

    Then we're compiled in lists, and bucketlists roll out of our mouths
    as if we're printing machines, ready to spit out curricula vitae
    and age and etceteras until ink runs dry and we're left
    with an empty A4-sized paper, having no inkling or whatsoever
    as to why so many words were spilt on such a paper-thin moment.

    - I get a tone of pointlessness here, like realising how much effort is wasted, or how little you are noticed or what you do is noticed. I thin in relation to it being about going to university, and learning, it could also be related to what we learn about a subject, but also what we go on to learn about life. Things we did not realise before but do now.

    We'll be building ant hills. Somehow relating the need to be tribal
    with machinery - bleached smiles as automated as a handshake
    and there'll be no art in pretending, a freshman's profession,
    and that's what we'll be taught through lectures and speeches
    and books that end up between weeks-old pizza and beer and

    - metaphors and wording here are so amazing, I am so envious of your language skills. I really like the sarcastic slight tone here, it is like you paint the pucture so fast because although it does not feel happy, it is just what is, nothing you can do about it, you are accepting it and just venting about what is it like.

    everything. Everything will be a display of ands and ends,
    loose ends tied in ribbons or knots or more, more embellishment.

    - I got the image of things being unfinished here, but them seem to appear finished, so the loose ends being tied with a ribbon, implies they are finished, but perhaps they are not finished but pushed aside.

    We'll be displayed and spread until we're everywhere and nowhere,
    like ants that scurry too fast to identify their differences.

    - relating back to the ants, I really do like this idea, it is very powerful and this last image of every ant being the same because they go too fast to tell any difference between them all, I think this is spot on to the students and how they are all different and will all have their own stories, but to the world's eye, they all appear the same from the distance.

    Powerful work, well done.

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