The Marine.

by Poet on the Piano   Oct 24, 2013


I have seen hundreds of customers
in my three months here.
But you were out of place,
sweet yet fully admitting this isn't
where you belonged.

Grey sweatshirt,
something told me you would like
flannels, bonfires, smoked apples,
fireside talk.

You sought my help,
as I found gifts your family would
be given at Christmastime.

I laughed when you asked for
a gun powder-smelling candle,
and then when you later remarked
"I'd rather be shot then seen
shopping here.",
always having the tendency to
reply "yes, ma'am" when I asked if
everything was alright.

You granted my feet a more lively
step as I could feel your gratitude
over the counter.

Ten minutes passed and I saw
you on the phone outside our
store window.

Approaching me again, your
hands opened. Tucked in those
massive palms was a delicate box
of Debrand truffles.
Your eyes held war yet softness,
service and love,
everything I wish to become.

I could have hugged you right there,
instead, I stuttered,
"it's my job, it was my pleasure."
Then, you smiled, walked away as
I said "thank you, this means so
much to me."

A heart touched by the unexpected,
a man who was just a stranger
making a purchase....

A man who's story it would be an
honor to learn.

-
Written 10/23/13 @ 11:54 PM
Been in a writing mood tonight since it's been a few days.... this happened yesterday at work and just had to write about it!

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    That's a fantastic poem, I literally have no words to describe how graceful and beautiful this is. You're able to create a mystical atmosphere with these words of yours, and turn even the most mundane event into something magical and full of meaning. I also love it how not only are you able to understand the woman's emotions, but you can also feel the marine's emotions as well, in spite of it being written from the woman's point of view. This beautiful apparently simple poem reveals an outstanding ability to create poetry, you are like an alchemist whose touch can turn iron into gold. Awesome job.

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Christmastime <- I always thought that it was a two word rather than one. But I just checked the dictionary, it's either or. Thanks

    I think I read this story on Fb, though, I liked the poem better.

    Specially, this lines:

    "Your eyes held war yet softness,
    service and love,
    everything I wish to become."

    And the ending:

    " a man who's story
    it would be an honor to learn"

    ^ What I truly liked about the poem and overall about your experienced was the admiration that is felt through your words and also the impact that he had on you. I guess that could be a reason why Hannah and Chelsey were suggesting you to have asked for his number. lol

    But I caught my attention of the ending was that you said, "an honor to learn," specially the word learn, on other occasions I would see "hear" or "read" but you want to learn his story. Peculiar but interesting. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Such an amazing story!!! It's amazing how someone can touch your life by doing something so simple like that. It's not often you find people like that that anymore, especially shopping. Most customers come to find their stuff and get out, so this was very nice to read.

    I'm with Chelsey, you should've asked for his number! :P lol

  • 10 years ago

    by Abed

    I think you mentioned this story on facebook... It's amazing how you've turned it into a beautiful, moving piece!

    I adore it.

  • 10 years ago

    by Athanael

    Double post