This is a lovely little story and, although it was personal to you, it was told in such a way that the reader could feel they were also in this shop sharing the experience.

There was nothing sophisticated here and I thing that's why it worked so well for me...this is exactly how thinks took place...it was all very believable is what I mean.

Just a little thing I noticed...throughout the whole verse it appears that you are speaking to this marine and then...

Then, he smiled, ...maybe it should be ...then you smiled?

Anyway...I really enjoyed this one...made me feel all warm inside :)

You always seem to write about so many topics, which made me question if this was a true story. Either way it was extremely touching, I just loved how you developed the whole thing. Personal stories are always the best and you know just how to make them poetic. I really think the scents of candles truly add a poetic touch. You've really worded this all so well and the ending is lovely! I bet this really truly made your day :) Well done

Your eyes held war yet softness,
service and love,
everything I wish to become.

^^ I adore this.

You know Maryanne its amazing how customers or strangers can make that kind of impact on us.like this. And it sucks we can never show them these poems we write about them to let them know. Ive wrote poems like this too and truly its just really cool to come across a stranger with a story that really ignites a fire in our heart.

I enjoyed reading this. I need to train you to be less shy and more vocal. I woulda asked for his number lmao

Simple and sophisticated at the same time ..... just like those apparently simple poems that are actually way more than what they seem. The best poem I've read from you, hence the reason why I felt the need to comment on it.
It's easier to make poetry about your own personal feelings, but creating such imagery revolving around an apparently meaningless situation, and giving it the meaning of a musician's symphony .... is divine. I love this.

Simple and sophisticated at the same time ..... just like those apparently simple poems that are actually way more than what they seem. The best poem I've read from you, hence the reason why I felt the need to comment on it.
It's easier to make poetry about your own personal feelings, but creating such imagery revolving around an apparently meaningless situation, and giving it the meaning of a musician's symphony .... is divine. I love this.

Double post

I think you mentioned this story on facebook... It's amazing how you've turned it into a beautiful, moving piece!

I adore it.

Such an amazing story!!! It's amazing how someone can touch your life by doing something so simple like that. It's not often you find people like that that anymore, especially shopping. Most customers come to find their stuff and get out, so this was very nice to read.

I'm with Chelsey, you should've asked for his number! :P lol

Christmastime <- I always thought that it was a two word rather than one. But I just checked the dictionary, it's either or. Thanks

I think I read this story on Fb, though, I liked the poem better.

Specially, this lines:

"Your eyes held war yet softness,
service and love,
everything I wish to become."

And the ending:

" a man who's story
it would be an honor to learn"

^ What I truly liked about the poem and overall about your experienced was the admiration that is felt through your words and also the impact that he had on you. I guess that could be a reason why Hannah and Chelsey were suggesting you to have asked for his number. lol

But I caught my attention of the ending was that you said, "an honor to learn," specially the word learn, on other occasions I would see "hear" or "read" but you want to learn his story. Peculiar but interesting. 5/5

Judging comment:

That's a fantastic poem, I literally have no words to describe how graceful and beautiful this is. You're able to create a mystical atmosphere with these words of yours, and turn even the most mundane event into something magical and full of meaning. I also love it how not only are you able to understand the woman's emotions, but you can also feel the marine's emotions as well, in spite of it being written from the woman's point of view. This beautiful apparently simple poem reveals an outstanding ability to create poetry, you are like an alchemist whose touch can turn iron into gold. Awesome job.